Watching you eat breakfast

“Breakfast”

    What did you have for breakfast this morning? Did you go the oatmeal route? Cap’n Crunch? A ham omelet! Well, look at you!

I see several of you are still eating breakfast. No, no. That’s okay. Don’t let me interrupt. By the way, are you gonna eat the other biscuit over there, ‘cause—Whoa! Never come between a mother and her last biscuit. That’s in one of the Proverbs. Might be.

I already had my breakfast. I got up early so I could watch some of you eat yours. How nice am I?  Thought it’d be a cute idea. Turns out, not so cute. But, since I’m here, let’s go ahead and talk breakfast.  

This morning I did something wild and crazy. I had peanut butter and syrup and toast. It’s something my mom invented many years ago. If you think your mom invented it, you’re wrong.

Mom always made biscuits to go with our peanut butter and syrup. I don’t make biscuits. And, I don’t like waiting for someone who does. Toast works just fine. Granted, it’s not as good with gravy, but it’ll do.

I like P&S ‘cause it’s really sweet and needs to be eaten with a knife. A butter knife. Pour the syrup on top of a glob of peanut butter and stir. Scoop up some, and put it on the corner of your toast. About two years ago, I found that if you cut your toast in two it gives you twice as many corners. I danced in the street after that discovery. The neighbors' dogs were most impressed.

I seldom do the P&S thing, but this morning I just wanted something really sweet and gooey and something that would stay with me. Peanut butter sticks around for lunch and then some.

Mom also invented chocolate syrup and biscuits. On chocolate syrup mornings she didn’t haven’t to yell us out of bed. “Mark Scott, if you don’t get outta that bed this very instant your name is gonna be the next entry on that roll that’s called up yonder!” Mom was the sweetest. 

On Cream of Wheat mornings, Mom had to practically pry us out of bed. Did you know it’s impossible to make Cream-of-Wheat without lumps, unless you stay with it every second of the process? Mom didn’t like to watch gruel boil.

Of a morning, Mom not only made breakfast for us, but also prepared our lunches. At one stage of our lives, there were of us kids living at home. A mother cooking breakfast and preparing lunch for six kids is not going to do due diligence to Cream of Wheat. When I cook, I’m only cooking for two, and I won’t carry out the “stir constantly” CofW edict.  

    Mom did serve us eggs, bacon, biscuits and gravy at least once a week. She cooked Dad’s eggs over easy, but she fried ours hard and beyond. I guess it’s the only way we’d eat ‘em. I can’t remember. My tastes have changed so much over the years. I’m now an over-medium man.

    I don’t do much egg frying around here. I’ve been known to eat a boiled egg– without the shell—a piece of Ciabatta Bread toasted, and some cottage cheese. Cottage cheese? When I was a kid, I would’ve gagged. In fact, I did. Presentation of the food meant a lot to the Hayter kids. Cottage cheese is a hard food to present in a good light. And, large curd? Don’t even think of it. Today, I’m on board with the cottaging of cheese. I’ve turned into Dad and Mom.

Oops. I can see you’re all finished with your breakfasts. Scarfed it down is what you did. Reminded me of a younger me. Eating breakfast with a bunch of brothers and sisters was a battle. Mom came close to adding us each to the roll up yonder. Mostly Dennis and me. God heard “Mark Scott!” and “Dennis Ray!” yelled more times than He cared to remember. Fortunately, that same woman prayed for us every day, so He heard just our first names a lot, too. I do miss my mom.

Oh, well. In a few weeks, I might try to drop in on you at suppertime. I’ve been known to eat I’ve got a cereal combo that needs to be patented. One cereal no longer gets you there. You need to diversify your grain intake. Just as long as one of the grains isn’t wheat that’s been creamed. That’s some bad ju ju.   

END

To view Brad and Mark's review of Mama J's BBQ and Grill, click below.