Where to go?
 |
| One building in the Smithsonian |
Just a few
minutes before you showed up Kay and I were sitting on the carport discussing
stuff. I mostly discussed. Kay was reading her new copy of National Geographic.
Mostly reading out-loud. She does that with magazines and newspapers.
I asked her
to pick a vacation spot we might be able to visit. She said, “Killer whales are
a part of the dolphin family. I think I knew that.” I’m not making this up.
Then I had to crane my neck so I could see a whale photo she was trying to show
me. I think it was a beluga. Kay’s partial to belugas. I have every confidence
I will go to my grave not knowing why.
“Washington
D.C.” That’s what she said. I said, “Yes?” She told me that was where she might
want to visit. “Ah.” That’s what I said. I hate it when she answers a question
after it’s been left in the dust.
I have
wanted to see the Smithsonian since I first heard there was one. One? I
actually think it’s a museum complex that includes something like 89 buildings.
I don’t care to research that at the moment, so just take my word. – What?
Sheeesh. Wait here while I check. – Nineteen different museums. I was close.
The only
thing keeping me from visiting the Smithsonian and its 19 museums, comes from
its location. I’m afraid of DC. I don’t worry about getting mugged or killed or
anything. That’s a given. No, I don’t feel comfortable driving or parking or
walking around that area. I just can’t help thinking I would end up some place
I wasn’t supposed to be.
I realize
that a guy climbed the fence around the White House and made it all the way
down a hallway before he got stopped. But, I’m not that man. I can see me
getting separated from Kay and ending up in a weird place where a couple of
guards yell at me. “Hey, Abudullah! What are you doing in this restricted area?
On your knees; hands on your head. Frank, hand me the taser.”
No, I’m not
ready for D.C., and that’s what I told Kay. She said, “Do you know what this
is?” She held up a picture of something that looked like a huge tobacco chaw. That
was my guess, but I didn’t tell her, ‘cause I don’t like to be asked what
something looks like. I never guess right. Kay picked up on that ‘cause she
didn’t wait very long for an answer. She said, “It’s a rack of beef ribs found
in King Tut’s tomb.” I told her that was my fifth guess.
While turning the page, Kay told me
she would like to go the UK; mostly to Scotland and Ireland. I imagine she
meant The Republic of Ireland. I think that’s where most of the castles and
moors are. I’ve never seen a moor. Never dug up peat, either. Never even saw a
castle. Nor do I care to any time soon. Which is a good thing, ‘cause we sure
can’t afford such trip.
Dennis and Al took their wives to Europe
a few years back. What I remember from their stories was about how hard it was
to find public restrooms. When they were in Rome next to the Coliseum, they spent
more time looking for a restroom than looking at the Coliseum. The one they
eventually found had some serious sanitation and privacy issues. Either one of
those issues is a deal breaker for me.
Americans may have a lot of flaws, but let me tell
you, one look at the International Restroom Bar Graph will show that the US of
A is at the very top. Europe can keep its castles and cathedrals. Better to
have good restrooms.
Kay said she’d go to Hawaii before
she’d go to Europe. I’ve told her a dozen times that I don’t care to visit our
50th State. (Not to be confused with our 52nd.) My image
of Hawaii is much like the one I have for Disney World. A haven for tourists.
And a place where getting there is merely a part of the cost for the trip. From
what I hear, Hawaii is an expensive place.
Kay said that most of the tourists are
in Oahu. We’d go to the largest island in the chain, Hawaii. I guess it has
more Beluga’s.
Then Kay mentioned a place I hadn’t
thought of. She suggested Michigan. Kay said that Michigan in the fall is
lovely. I suppose she’s talked to someone. Do you know that the northern
portion of Michigan, the peninsula that looks like Wisconsin’s nose, also has
some lovely places. And the best thing -- Michigan is not Washington D.C. It’s
not even Oklahoma.
I’m now prepared to start saving
for a visit to Sault Ste Marie and points south. But just to make it
interesting I asked Kay that between Michigan and an African Safari which would
she pick? Kay said nothing for a few seconds, but eventually said, “Scientists
are working on a heartier honey bee. One less prone to getting ill by pests of
pathogens.”
I asked her what a pest would be
for a bee? She said, “The Asian mite.” Then she held up her opened National G.
An evil-looking creature, the Asian mite. So vile that I took it as a sign that
I should go back inside.
As I got up to leave, Kay said, “While
you’re inside you need to call a plumber.” I had no idea where that came from.
She said, “There’s no way, I’m want to be on Safari knowing that our washing
machine still has a leak.” – I hate it when she does that.
End
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