New calendar time!
Yea, me!
I got a new calendar today. I was going to wait till April when they’re cheaper, but Kay told me I could buy a cheap one now at one of the dollar stores. I don’t know how she knows stuff like this. Anyway, I got two of ‘em.
That happens to me a lot. When something is really cheap, I’ll buy more than I need because of the savings. That almost made sense when I was a kid. Over time, I learned that when you buy something you can’t use, you’re actually throwing money away. I learned that, but I’ve always had trouble applying wisdom.
No worry. I’ll try to find a home for the second calendar after I’ve hid it away somewhere for a few months. I’ll eventually find it at the bottom of some papers on one of the shelves. It’s a challenge to find someone to take a calendar that only has five unused months.
Both of my new calendars have 16 months. The bad news is, the extra four months are September through December of 2015. If I tried to schedule something for October of last year, Kay would have me committed. When I walk around looking for my glasses while I’m wearing ‘em, she usually reaches for the phone. – “Please tell the doctor that he’s doing it again.”
Uh, where was I? Oh, cheap calendar. Do you have any idea where one-dollar calendars are made? No, not Scotland. Both of my cheap calendars have a logo for a company in Atlanta Georgia. However, below that logo, in small print, you can see “Manufactured in China/Fabrique en Chine.” That last part was a foreign language. I’m thinking Urdu, because it’s used a lot in my crossword puzzles.
Hiding the name of the country of origin has become an art form. I was all set to buy a three-pound bag of shrimp last week. I had the bag in my cart when Kay walked up. I immediately showed her the name of a coastal U.S. city printed on the side. Kay took the bag from me, studied it for a minute and then pointed to “Farm raised in Thailand.”
I love the Thais as if they were kin. But, like my kin, I don’t trust their farm-raised shrimp. I imagine I eat Asian shrimp a lot in restaurants, but I don’t know that for a fact. Few restaurants advertise where their food came from. And, I appreciate that.
What I don’t appreciate is that one of you got me off track again. I was talking about calendars. My new calendars have pictures of landscapes on each month. Pictures on calendars? Who thinks of stuff like that? Unfortunately, my cheap calendars don’t say where the photos were taken. I’m assuming they didn’t want the copywriters to be able to trace the photos. Again, the calendar only cost a buck.
The paper used in the Chinese calendar is the thinnest you can find that’s not wrapped around a four-inch cardboard tube and hanging in your bathroom. That tiny hanger hole is not going to hold the weight.
I’ve decided to hang the calendar titled “Beautiful Landscapes.” I particularly like August. It’s got a picture of tall, pointy rock formations with conifers growing around ‘em. In the background is a mountain range. No idea where it’s located. Unfortunately, the beautiful photo won’t do a thing to make August enjoyable. It’s one lousy month. That’s why the French take off the month of August. They want to sleep through it.
My second calendar has a verse from one of the Psalms printed on each photo. The verses were taken from the King James Version of the Bible. Reading from the King James is like trying to decipher 66 plays of Shakespeare. A tough read.
When I was in the sixth grade, I was awarded a King James Bible for memorizing something. Whatever I memorized has really stuck with me. It was my first very own bible. I was so proud that I decided to read through the entire book. Started it when I was 12 and finished it three years later. Much of my motivation was thinking that putting myself through such an ordeal might just keep me out of hell.
Here’s an example of the language of the King James. I’m going to read from the calendar the verse for January. It’s from Psalm 24:1. “The earth is the Lord’s and the fullness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein.” I would’ve written -- “This planet and everything on it belongs to God.” It loses a little of the poetry, but it’s something a kid could understand it.
I’m going to put the Psalms calendar away and use the other one and go with the Beautiful Landscapes. I’m drawn to August. The Psalms calendar? I’ll set it on a shelf and run across it again in May. I’ll try to find someone who needs only seven months of a calendar. Perhaps they’ll be drawn to the scripture for the month of May. -- Psalm 34:4. “I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.” Any rewording of that verse would be no improvement. – Next time.
End
mark@rooftopwriter.com
I got a new calendar today. I was going to wait till April when they’re cheaper, but Kay told me I could buy a cheap one now at one of the dollar stores. I don’t know how she knows stuff like this. Anyway, I got two of ‘em.
That happens to me a lot. When something is really cheap, I’ll buy more than I need because of the savings. That almost made sense when I was a kid. Over time, I learned that when you buy something you can’t use, you’re actually throwing money away. I learned that, but I’ve always had trouble applying wisdom.
No worry. I’ll try to find a home for the second calendar after I’ve hid it away somewhere for a few months. I’ll eventually find it at the bottom of some papers on one of the shelves. It’s a challenge to find someone to take a calendar that only has five unused months.
Both of my new calendars have 16 months. The bad news is, the extra four months are September through December of 2015. If I tried to schedule something for October of last year, Kay would have me committed. When I walk around looking for my glasses while I’m wearing ‘em, she usually reaches for the phone. – “Please tell the doctor that he’s doing it again.”
Uh, where was I? Oh, cheap calendar. Do you have any idea where one-dollar calendars are made? No, not Scotland. Both of my cheap calendars have a logo for a company in Atlanta Georgia. However, below that logo, in small print, you can see “Manufactured in China/Fabrique en Chine.” That last part was a foreign language. I’m thinking Urdu, because it’s used a lot in my crossword puzzles.
Hiding the name of the country of origin has become an art form. I was all set to buy a three-pound bag of shrimp last week. I had the bag in my cart when Kay walked up. I immediately showed her the name of a coastal U.S. city printed on the side. Kay took the bag from me, studied it for a minute and then pointed to “Farm raised in Thailand.”
I love the Thais as if they were kin. But, like my kin, I don’t trust their farm-raised shrimp. I imagine I eat Asian shrimp a lot in restaurants, but I don’t know that for a fact. Few restaurants advertise where their food came from. And, I appreciate that.
What I don’t appreciate is that one of you got me off track again. I was talking about calendars. My new calendars have pictures of landscapes on each month. Pictures on calendars? Who thinks of stuff like that? Unfortunately, my cheap calendars don’t say where the photos were taken. I’m assuming they didn’t want the copywriters to be able to trace the photos. Again, the calendar only cost a buck.
The paper used in the Chinese calendar is the thinnest you can find that’s not wrapped around a four-inch cardboard tube and hanging in your bathroom. That tiny hanger hole is not going to hold the weight.
I’ve decided to hang the calendar titled “Beautiful Landscapes.” I particularly like August. It’s got a picture of tall, pointy rock formations with conifers growing around ‘em. In the background is a mountain range. No idea where it’s located. Unfortunately, the beautiful photo won’t do a thing to make August enjoyable. It’s one lousy month. That’s why the French take off the month of August. They want to sleep through it.
My second calendar has a verse from one of the Psalms printed on each photo. The verses were taken from the King James Version of the Bible. Reading from the King James is like trying to decipher 66 plays of Shakespeare. A tough read.
When I was in the sixth grade, I was awarded a King James Bible for memorizing something. Whatever I memorized has really stuck with me. It was my first very own bible. I was so proud that I decided to read through the entire book. Started it when I was 12 and finished it three years later. Much of my motivation was thinking that putting myself through such an ordeal might just keep me out of hell.
Here’s an example of the language of the King James. I’m going to read from the calendar the verse for January. It’s from Psalm 24:1. “The earth is the Lord’s and the fullness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein.” I would’ve written -- “This planet and everything on it belongs to God.” It loses a little of the poetry, but it’s something a kid could understand it.
I’m going to put the Psalms calendar away and use the other one and go with the Beautiful Landscapes. I’m drawn to August. The Psalms calendar? I’ll set it on a shelf and run across it again in May. I’ll try to find someone who needs only seven months of a calendar. Perhaps they’ll be drawn to the scripture for the month of May. -- Psalm 34:4. “I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.” Any rewording of that verse would be no improvement. – Next time.
End
mark@rooftopwriter.com
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