D.C. planning

Pre-trip -- Kay's making me go

    Can’t we all just slow down? Count the roses and silly stuff like that? Well, maybe you can, but I’m in a rush here. In fact, I’m in such a rush that it’s actually a week later from when I am right now. Rushes can get so confusing.

Seems an opportunity presented itself a few days ago allowing Kay and me to take a trip to Washington D.C.  I could’ve passed on the opportunity. Wait for a more prudent time. Unfortunately, the more prudent time would’ve cost a lot more. Kay is much more impulsive than I. She latched onto this opportunity and dragged me along with her.

So, here I am, talking with you, while Kay finishes up with my packing. I won’t have a chance to write you while in D.C., because we’re not taking a laptop. Not sure why. Our flight is supposed to leave in five hours and I don’t have time to dawdle. Isn’t “dawdle” a cute word?

I never wanted to visit the nation’s capital because it seemed too scary a venture. I’ll probably have to take a cab. Tip a lot of people. Get mugged on the subway. Get lost on the subway and have to spend the night. Get arrested at the Smithsonian for trying on Benjamin Franklin’s bifocals. Stuff like that.

At the moment my biggest fear is missing our flight. I don’t do airports well. I’ve taken at least four trips that required encounters with airports. The last one was horrible. Seems security is a bit more stringent than the other visits. Following the bombings in Istanbul, I imagine they’re going to be worse today.

You know what I need to do? Here’s what I need to do. I need to look on the bright side. I get to go see the Lincoln Memorial, spend a lot of time in the megaplex called The Smithsonian. I’ll get to see the Spirit of St. Louis at the airplane museum and see the actual U.S. Constitution and the Declaration of Independence. Did the Preamble to the Constitution really contain the words “provide for the general welfare”? Was the part about “all men are created equal” actually scratched through on the Declaration of Independence?

I’ll also get to see a bunch of stuff that our founding fathers used to wear and smoke and carry in their pockets. I’ll also get to try on Franklin’s bifocals.

The one thing I’m most excited about is the Fireworks Display on the Fourth. Kay and I will need to take a couple of towels from the hotel and spread them somewhere around the Lincoln Memorial and watch it all. Kay checked the weather forecast and found that there is a 70 percent chance of rain in D.C. on the Fourth. Hey, I may have already made the national news as the guy who cried like a baby when he found out the firework display was cancelled. I’ll do it. You bet I will.   

Speaking of our flight, we have a two-hour layover in Atlanta. It could be longer than that, depending on the lines and the canine unit sniffing around. My bag of cashews will never make it past the carryon search. – “I’d better take this ziplock here, Sir. Can’t be too sure, you know? Whoa! Quit crying. You can have ‘em back, you big baby.”

By the way, in the movies and on TV, you’ll see people jump out of the cab the minute it stops. I never see ‘em pay the cabby. Aren’t you supposed to pay them something? And, if you do, can you use a credit card? The guy who opens the door for you at the hotel, do you have to hand him a buck or two? How much do you tip the lady who drove the bus during the tour of Harpers Ferry? Does Harpers have an apostrophe? So many things to know.

One thing that’s especially been troubling me, is the—Ouch! “Yes, Darling, I’m putting this baby to rest” – I’m sorry, Kay thinks we should’ve left an hour ago. I’ll just cut this short… well, shorter than usual. And, uh, look, unless I get incarcerated or badly hurt, I’ll let you know how all of this comes out – next time. Mommy?

End