Blade Runner

January 10, 2019
“A sci-fi vision of 2019”

            We finally reached the year depicted in the movie “Blade Runner.” The Sci-Fi movie was loosely adopted from the mindboggling novel “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?” written by an oddball genius named Philip K Dick.

            Dick’s 1968 novel was set in the futuristic San Francisco of 1992. Shortly before the movie came out (1982), screenwriters thought it best to shove the year up to 2019. Surely, it would take that long for flying vehicles to be the main mode of city transportation, and the establishment of “off-world” colonies with android workers. 

            The main character, played by Harrison Ford, is a bounty hunter of sorts whose mission is to eliminate six off-the-grid androids that, after their escape from Mars, ended up in Los Angeles. The six “replicants” were a new android upgrade whose creator instilled more mental capabilities than was spelled out in his contract. In short, they were smart enough to realize that they didn’t want to be slaves to humans, so they went all border wall on society.    

            With that concise explanation of an author’s view of earth some 60 years hence, how close do you think we’ve come to matching Philip K Dick’s predictions? To aid me in my research I called upon Geoffrey Fowler, reporter for the Washington Post, who recently wrote about a number of fascinating inventions of 2019. Some of these creations are available right now, but some are expected by the end of the year. Let’s see how closely they resemble stuff from Blade Runner.

            Inubox: A computerized dog toilet. It’s a 30-inch or so rectangular box, one side of which opens and lies flat of the floor. The dog steps on the area, relieves itself and eventually steps off. The door then shuts and the bad stuff is swept away and eventually stored in a bag of sand. After that happens, the box spits out a treat for the dog. It’s not exactly a colony on Mars, but it’s much more functional. Note: Findings are not yet available to prove with any certainty that cats will agree to take part in such a humiliating process.

            Ovis: A self-maneuvering, tag-along suitcase. It’s an upright suitcase that has cameras all over it. The suitcase knows who you are, where you are, and what you’re about run into. It is able to sense people approaching. You go into the restroom, it’s there; stand in line at Starbucks, it’s eager for you to get your latte so it can motor on. If someone tries to steal it, it releases a bag of sand that contains your dog’s droppings. (I made up that part.) Anyway, it should be available this summer at a cost of $800.

            Lovot: A robot pet. It looks like a grapefruit-sized plastic ball sitting atop a cantaloupe-sized ball. The, uh, thing appears to be wearing a plastic burka with a circle cut out revealing a face with two eyes. It gets around on two or three wheels. It has plastic arms that are covered in cloth so the Lovot can flap its arms at you to win your attention.  

            The Lovot mission statement reads, “Try to be affectionate to humans and their live pets.” The Lovot has sensors and cameras all over it, allowing it to recognize faces as well as the presence of other living creatures. According to Fowler, the thing demands a lot of attention, so after about 30 minutes you may want to punt it into the next room. (My words, not his.)

            By the end of the year, you will likely be able to purchase two Lovots for $3000. They only come in twos. I’m assuming that when alone, they wave their arms and make screaming noises.

             Elevate: A car by Hyundai that has wheels that not only roll, but also walk. Say you round a bend on the mountainous road and you come upon the remnants of a rockslide. Put the car in walk-mode, and instantly your wheels are moved around by multi-jointed legs that can climb over objects as tall as five feet, and across debris-filled roads.

            I’m getting this info and photos from Peter Holley, another WP writer, who mentioned that the Elevate can supposedly mimic the “gait” of a lizard or a bear. It can step across a five-foot wide ditch or walk through a snow bank. Nothing was said about side-airbags.

            At this stage, Elevate is merely a concept car. And, won’t be available until after the military’s order is filled. You ask me, it would easier to build a flying car.

             There is a lot of other new stuff out there, but I’ve seen enough to know that I much prefer life in the real 2019 than the one in the imagined 2019. Seems our advances in technology too often outpace our ability to anticipate their potential for bad.

            Reminds me of the last words Rutger Hauer delivered for his character in “Blade Runner.” After saving the life of Harrison Ford’s character, the replicant’s last words were, “I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.” -- That has nothing to do with anything, but I just had to work it in. And, I feel the need to find time for another viewing of “Blade Runner.” Maybe I’ll come close to understanding it this time.

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