Hayter for March 5, 2023
"Hayter Brothers on the Greens"
The Hayter brothers have been involved in countless adventures over the years. (“Countless”: Signifying an extremely exaggerated number.)
I have written accounts of practically
each one of our adventures. (“Practically”: an unknown quantity.) The point is,
upon reaching the extent of our ability, we choose to take one more step
Doc Holiday would call the Hayter brothers
“madcap”. Webster defines madcap as “heedlessly impulsive”. We can’t help it. It’s
part of our DNA
This introduction is tied to the Hayter
boys’ latest adventure. But, first a reminder of some of the other madcap
events. The worst was the hike in the Rocky Mountains. During the few times we
were not bent over gasping for breath, we saw it as a beautiful place.
We also went on a couple of canoeing
expeditions. The first took place on the Neches River. We put in south of
Livingston and canoed for four days and three nights to Cleveland. None of us
had ever canoed before, but after about six hours we managed to stay out of the
tree limbs and in the boat.
The next expedition involved a canoe trip along the Colorado River. The Neches didn’t have many rapids. The Colorado River had ample. No worries. After taking on the Neches, we considered ourselves pros. Not prose. That’s what this article is.
Over the years we went on a few more hikes but eventually gave it all up for golf. Faris Hayter had on occasion taken three of his sons golfing. Al was just a baby at the time, so he couldn’t even carry our golf tees for us. After Dad died, Al was able to join his older brothers in our “Faris Hayter Annual Golf Classic”.
Unlike our outings with Dad, we rented a couple of carts. We had some magnificent games and lost a massive number of balls. I was the first to give the game up. I always finished last or next to last because I was using Dad’s old clubs. Since the brothers respected me so much, they never went golfing without me. Not that I would know.
I tell you all of that, to tell you this.
Last week I got hold of my three brothers and invited them over for bbq ribs,
sausage links, corn on the cob, pinto beans, and cole slaw. Kay asked to help,
but I told her it was a brother thing. She took me literally and never lifted a
finger. She did make a cake for dessert,
though.
When the brothers arrived for their meals, I let them know that after we ate we were going to do some putt-putt golfing. The best response came from Larry. “We’ve climbed mountains, and now you expect us to play a kid’s game?”
It was the only Brothers’ adventure they
refused to participate in… until I told them that I had already let Jason Long
know that we would be there. Jason and his wife are the owners of Longview
Greens in Montgomery, Texas. I chose the hottest part of the day for us to play
because there would be fewer people there to laugh at us
Not wanting to disappoint Jason, the three
brothers agreed to go. When push comes to shove, I can always depend on my brothers.
Not as much as I can my sister Jill, but she’s a girl.
The Longview course is terrific. I don’t know how many of the holes Jason designed, but I assume they were the toughest. The playing surface at putt-putt is fast, except when it’s not. If you hit the ball too hard, it might jump the one-layer brick fence and cost you a stroke. Hit it too soft, and the ball won’t be able to climb the gentle slope and come right back to you.
We would still be playing, had Jason not
established the rule that “six” is the most strokes you can make at one hole. When
you’ve got six strokes and the hole is still behind the bridge over the water,
just quit. The first time I did that I was embarrassed. After a while, I
accepted it better.
We never tallied the score, because our
athletic persona would melt. However, Al left the scorecard with me, and I’m
going to do the math right now. Since the brothers didn’t want to know their
scores, I’ll share them with you. – Give me a second. – Okay. Here are the
scores from oldest brother to youngest. Larry 78. Dennis 67. Mark 70. Al 59.
The experience wasn’t as dangerous as our non-golfing expeditions, but I considered it one step beyond my abilities. Regarding the course itself, it was challenging. Of course, most outdoor sports have become a challenge for me. Bending over to get the golf ball out of the hole was a challenge for me.
When we got home, my neighbor was outside with his two small kids. When I told him we had just come back from Longview Greens, he said that his kids have a blast when he takes them there. Ages five and two, and I’ll bet Oliver could beat me. But I’d give his little sister a run for her money.
You ask me, Montgomery County is blessed to have an attractive, well-managed putt-putt golf place. I know it’s good when the family is in town.
While we had a lot of fun, we were each too pooped to eat any dessert, so Kay cut some slices for the brothers to take home. It wasn’t an expedition in the Rockies or shooting the rapids in the Colorado River, but for us, it was madcap. Jason@longviewgreens.com
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