Hayter for June 4, 2023
“Something for everyone”
The most intuitive reader of my articles was Ruby Parker, Virginia Pliler’s mom. That woman was like a mother to me… a mother who could tell from the first sentence of an article whether or not she would read the rest of it. That woman’s keen foresight saved her a few minutes each week.
I don’t know how many Ruby clones may be out there, so I’ve decided to cover several topics in one article. If you don’t like the first one or two, maybe you’ll go for the third one. With that in mind, reposition your reading glasses, and let’s do this thing.
Topic 1, DMV: There comes a time in your life when you’re forced to do something dreadful. It might relate to a visit to a doctor or dentist, a need to borrow money from someone, or, in my case, the need to have my driver’s license renewed IN PERSON! It took me six years to get past my last experience.
But once again, I was faced with the DMV dread. I arrived with a large envelope containing my birth certificate, passport, and a 1099 tax form which was to be used in place of my hidden Social Security Card. I also included a two-page completed form that explained my life history.
Last week when I arrived, I thought I was in the wrong place. There were only about 10 autos in the parking lot. I walked inside at 10 a.m. to find only 12 people in a room with 50 foldout chairs. In the words of AC\DC, I was Thunderstruck!
A gentleman at the entrance asked me some questions and then helped me key in some info on a screen. I then sat down and waited for someone to call out 0046. I then went around the corner and handed over my documents. The passport was unnecessary due to the birth certificate.
I realize you’re curious about how all of this magically took place. It had to do with the public being forced to make appointments. My appointment time was 10:15. I entered the room at 10 and walked out at 10:27. The greatest innovation in the history of in-person driver’s license renewals is the APPOINTMENT! To add to my joy, was a form I received that said my next in-person visit would be in 2031.
Topic 2: “Jericho”, the biblical city located on the West Bank in Palestine, is the oldest continually inhabited city in the world.” Apparently, after the city’s walls came tumbling down during the time of Joshua, someone managed to put ‘em back up.
One other thing about Jericho is that it has the lowest elevation of any city in the world. It’s been around for at least 11,000 years, has a population of about 20,000, and has an elevation of 800 feet below sea level. Share that with someone at church and you’ll likely hear, “I knew that.”
Topic 3: Gordon Lightfoot is among the greatest singer-songwriters there has ever been. A few days ago I listened to at least 20 of his songs on YouTube. Practically every song was a ballad of some kind. The man had so many stories to tell.
During some performances, he would explain the story behind certain songs. But, there was one that he didn’t take the time to explain. He simply started a tune on his guitar and the audience immediately caught on and cheered. Then he sang:
“The legend lives on from the Chippewa on
down
Of the big lake they call 'Gitche Gumee'
The lake it is said, never gives up her
dead
When the skies of November turn gloomy”
Yep, the “Edmond Fitzgerald”. The lyrics to each one of his songs have dozens of lines. I can’t imagine how he was able to remember all the words, much less the notes. – Take some time to catch some of his songs on YouTube.
Topic 4: I recently came across the word “Wednesday” in an email. Immediately it struck me how weird the word is. I think the Brits pronounce it -- Wed-nez-day. We, being Americans, prefer Wenz-day. You ask me, that’s a slap in the face of the Vikings whose god was named Wodan. The Germans spell it Woden. The Romans, spell it “Mercury”.
The Romans called the fourth day of the
week “Mercuri Day”. That’s not nearly as good as we Americans who know it as “Wenzday”.
Topic 5: We know more about the surface of Mars than we do about our own ocean floor. That indicates that it’s easier to send a satellite with a camera 200 million miles into the vacuum of space and take pictures of an entire planet than it is to come up with a few massively thick-skinned submersibles to scope out the bottom of our oceans.
Thus far, we have mapped out only 20 % of Earth’s ocean floors, and have identified 240,000 underwater species. Scientists calculate that 91% of the animal life in our oceans is yet to be detected. How do we know that Godzilla’s not down there? How about Aquaman? Books have been written and movies made of the stuff that might be swimming around at the bottom of the sea.
I say, wake up world. Smell the toast! It’s too late for me, but somebody has got to search the floor of our oceans and travel outside our solar system to visit, uh—I don’t know. Outside the solar system may be a bit of a reach, even for your grandchildren. Of course, mankind did learn how to curtail the horror behind driver's license renewal.
That being said, I appreciate those of you who have hung in there with me, during this read. – To you I say, “Onward and upward!” – I think it was Underdog who came up with that. I’ll save him for another time.
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