Hayter for February 11, 2024
“What you may not know about Big Al”
A few articles ago, I interviewed my kid sister Jill and wrote about my findings. I did that because I love my sister. That and a reader told me that she wishes I would write more about my family like I used to.
I’ve cut back on that because we’re old and we’re so much less active than back in the day. No more hikes, campouts, flag football, softball, roofing each other’s houses… That and we don’t have Mom and Dad. A loss of parents tends to curb family get-togethers. It doesn’t end them, there is just not much to do when you have ‘em, except talk about being old. A fascinating subject.
That being said, it’s time to interview my kid brother, Al. I used to call him Big Al because he’s the biggest brother and could beat the stuffings out of me if he wished. He still can, but I’m less worried that he will. Right now, I shall quit talking about him and let him talk about himself.
All right, Al, I’ve got some questions for you. If you don’t like one of ‘em, lie. I’m the only one who will know. First off, I’m going to ask you a question that the Assistant Director of the Texas Forest Service asked me during my interview. Al, where do you want to be in five years?
“So, the Forest Service Assistant Director asked where your little brother wanted to be in five years. Strange. Five years from now I’d like to be above ground. Speaking of time, let’s go back a ways. Al, when you were a kid what did you want to be when you grew up? – “That’s easy. I wanted to be a guy with a full head of hair. I would love that very much.” – Al, I would love it if I looked as good as you without hair. But, look at me! – “Mark, next question.”
All right. Al, What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done? – “That’s easy. It was in high school track. While learning to high jump I couldn’t get my back leg to roll over the bar. A close second was to figure out when to use a comma or just start a new sentence.”
Well, I didn’t see that coming, but we’re getting some of our audience back. Al, when are you at your happiest? – “That’s a tough question because I’m always happy.” – Seriously, Al. – “Okay, I’m happiest when I’m spending time with my grandkids or right after I’ve taken my meds.”
Fascinating. So, Al, what are most people surprised to learn about you? – “That I like my steaks medium-rare.” – Wow, Al, that’s almost fascinating. – “You didn’t know how I liked my steaks, did you?” – No, but I thought you might mention some of the movies you’ve been in and all the actors you know. -- “I’m sorry, number three brother, would you like to answer the rest of the questions for me?” – Ouch. -- “Hey, I’m jokin’! That was a nice plug. Don’t do it again.”
I promise. Al, what is the best memory of your childhood? It doesn’t have to involve me, but it probably does. – “It was Christmas 19 something, Mom and Dad faked me out thinking I didn’t get the 10-speed bicycle I wanted. Dad told me to pick up some of the boxes in the house and put ‘em in the garage. That’s where they hid the bicycle. Happy Day.” – Daddy did the same thing with Dennis and me when we got our bicycles. – “Cool. Save that for when you get interviewed.”
Oookay. So, Al, who is your biggest role model? – “Would it break the rules if I chose my son? I wish I was more like him.” -- Of course, you can use Clint. He’s a great kid. I mean man. I don’t mean he’s a “mean” man, He’s like— “Mark you’re ruining it. My son is a great father, husband, and son. And, he’s got the confidence thing going for him. I don’t know who he got that from.” -- It sure wasn’t either one of us.
Here’s another. Is there a ‘life lesson’ that you had to learn the hard way? -- “Really? The first thing that comes to mind is when I told the platoon sergeant he was an idiot.” – Hokey smokes, little brother! And you’re still alive? – “No, I passed away after that Texas Forest Service question. Look, I didn’t badmouth a platoon sergeant. I’ve got a bunch of life lessons. Give me a couple of hours and I’ll have you a list.”
Super. This question is hard. What one day of your life would you choose to live over if you could? – “No, that’s pretty easy. I would like to live every day of my life over except from the time I was born up to the sixth grade.” -- Whoa. Maybe this time you’ll teach me how to work your bike gears.
Do you have any regrets in life? – “Of course, I do. I wish I had learned to play a musical instrument.” – Cool. What kind? – “Guitar, drums, and those bamboo flutes. I think you buy at Six Flags.” – Yeah, I think Dad hid your bamboo flute.
Last question, bro. Where do you find inspiration? – “Hmm.
When I see kindness. That is inspiring.” – Good answer, Al.
Al, I’m not out of questions, but I am out of time. So, how do you want to end this thing? – “How about ‘Goodbye’”. – Kind of abrupt don’t you— Ah. Goodbye, little brother. Okay then, we’re through here. So, next time. I prefer that over goodbye.
end
hayter.mark@gmail.com
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