Spring break

 

Hayter for March 12, 2023

“Spring Break”

        A sad thing about being a retired teacher is the fact that Spring Break doesn’t excite you as much as it used to. Oh, I’m still as joyful as a squirrel in a basket of nuts, but excited? Not so much.

        When I started the first grade, Spring Break for Texas Public Schools was not yet invented. Colleges had been having Spring Breaks since 1938. I vaguely remember that Pasadena ISD started in the late ‘50s, early ‘60s. Montgomery County School Districts? All I know is that we had them in 1977, the year I started teaching.

The words spring and break, on their own, do not merit capitalization in a sentence. But, when you stick the word “spring” immediately before “break”, capitalization is mandatory. Or should be.

        I have been attending school or teaching school for 42 years of my life. The vast majority of those years had a Spring Break in them. If you ask me, it saved lives.

        But today? I had no idea that this week was Spring Break for Willis, Conroe, and Montgomery schools until I saw the article by Sondra Hernandez (my boss) in Tuesday’s paper entitled “5 things to do and see in Montgomery County for spring break”. I will not attend all five because there will be too many youngsters at a couple of them. But hey, I like kids. Seriously. I just don’t have as much fun when I’m encircled.

Right off the bat, Sondra mentions The Woodlands Children’s Museum, located at 4775 W. Panther Creek Drive. I visited the locale several years back, but I can’t remember what drew me. I was still teaching at the time, so I wouldn’t have gone just so I could be with kids.

I do remember having a good time with the kiddos. They were a hoot. And, I could have left any time I wanted. That was always frowned upon when I was teaching. I’m fairly sure I wrote an article about my museum visit. I’d look for it, but it would take me longer than trying to put on a new set of tires.

        Another event begins this Friday the 17^th at 4:00 pm. That’s the gathering time for  Conroe’s 25^th Annual St Patrick’s Day Walking Parade. There will be no blocked streets, nor floats and marching bands. But there will be a bagpiper walking around the area of the Court House with a bunch of proud Irish men and women, their friends, and all who wish to show up. After some introductions and welcoming of all attendees, a short march (walk) begins at 5:00 p.m. at one side of the Courthouse and ends at the Corner Pub. I have no idea what a pub has to do with a St. Patrick’s Day celebration.

        Saturday the 18^th  the Greater Conroe Arts Alliance is sponsoring an Arts Festival at the Founder’s Plaza right next to the Owen Theatre. Sondra mentioned that they will “feature paintings, live music, street chalk art, food trucks, dancing, quilts, and more. The only thing you could add to that would be dromedary rides. Of course, there will be none of those. I only included it because I get too few opportunities to mention camels.

        What next? Of course, the Montgomery historic district. That place is wound up with history, including the Fernland History Park and Memorial Park. Hey, downtown Montgomery has almost more shops and eateries than is allowed by law. And, who can forget the Longview Greens Putt-Putt golf course? The Hayter brothers never will.

        The event that most excites me is the most expensive of them all. I haven’t told Kay about it yet. It’s the Jurassic Quest that will be at Conroe’s Lone Star Convention Center from Friday through Sunday. They’ve got some robotic dinosaurs, that are like the real things, except these can’t swallow?

They’ve got the sound, the moves, and the size of real creatures from the Cretaceous, Jurassic, and Triassic Periods. And, even after I leave the place, I still won’t know the difference between those time periods. Oh, the tickets go from $19 to $36. I’m assuming the $36 ticket will allow me to ride one of those bubbas. Either that or put on a pair of those 3-D goggles and walk amongst them.

Without question, I’ve left out a bunch of events. That’s because I talk too much. I’ve even ticked off myself a few times. I don’t even want to think about the trouble I’ve given Sondra Hernandez over the years. I prefer ending by mentioning the times when Spring Break was exciting for me. It was a time when I didn’t worry about working every weeknight to come up with lesson plans and grading papers.

That was my favorite thing about Spring Break. I could go to sleep late and not have to look at the alarm every two hours. I never wanted to do the sensible thing and travel for a week and come home in time to get to school on Monday. I preferred staying home and doing the things I was seldom able to do when school was going on.

Call me a stick in the mud, but even while teaching, I viewed Spring Break as a wonderful time to stay close to home. There’s just something about getting out of bed when normally you would be teaching your second-period class. And, watching TV instead of preparing for the next day’s class. I wouldn’t have to do that until late the following Sunday night.

That’s it for now. Each year only has one Spring Break, so go out amongst them. Just stay out of my way when I standing in the Cretaceous, Jurassic, or Triassic Period place at the Lonestar Convention Center. – By the way, if those three Periods you just read are spelled correctly, I’m fairly sure it’s due to Sondra.

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Putt Putt

 

Hayter for March 5, 2023

"Hayter Brothers on the Greens"

            The Hayter brothers have been involved in countless adventures over the years. (“Countless”: Signifying an extremely exaggerated number.)

I have written accounts of practically each one of our adventures. (“Practically”: an unknown quantity.) The point is, upon reaching the extent of our ability, we choose to take one more step

Doc Holiday would call the Hayter brothers “madcap”. Webster defines madcap as “heedlessly impulsive”. We can’t help it. It’s part of our DNA

This introduction is tied to the Hayter boys’ latest adventure. But, first a reminder of some of the other madcap events. The worst was the hike in the Rocky Mountains. During the few times we were not bent over gasping for breath, we saw it as a beautiful place. 

We also went on a couple of canoeing expeditions. The first took place on the Neches River. We put in south of Livingston and canoed for four days and three nights to Cleveland. None of us had ever canoed before, but after about six hours we managed to stay out of the tree limbs and in the boat.

The next expedition involved a canoe trip along the Colorado River. The Neches didn’t have many rapids. The Colorado River had ample. No worries. After taking on the Neches, we considered ourselves pros. Not prose. That’s what this article is.

Over the years we went on a few more hikes but eventually gave it all up for golf. Faris Hayter had on occasion taken three of his sons golfing. Al was just a baby at the time, so he couldn’t even carry our golf tees for us. After Dad died, Al was able to join his older brothers in our “Faris Hayter Annual Golf Classic”.

Unlike our outings with Dad, we rented a couple of carts. We had some magnificent games and lost a massive number of balls. I was the first to give the game up. I always finished last or next to last because I was using Dad’s old clubs. Since the brothers respected me so much, they never went golfing without me. Not that I would know.

I tell you all of that, to tell you this. Last week I got hold of my three brothers and invited them over for bbq ribs, sausage links, corn on the cob, pinto beans, and cole slaw. Kay asked to help, but I told her it was a brother thing. She took me literally and never lifted a finger.  She did make a cake for dessert, though.

When the brothers arrived for their meals, I let them know that after we ate we were going to do some putt-putt golfing. The best response came from Larry. “We’ve climbed mountains, and now you expect us to play a kid’s game?”

It was the only Brothers’ adventure they refused to participate in… until I told them that I had already let Jason Long know that we would be there. Jason and his wife are the owners of Longview Greens in Montgomery, Texas. I chose the hottest part of the day for us to play because there would be fewer people there to laugh at us

Not wanting to disappoint Jason, the three brothers agreed to go. When push comes to shove, I can always depend on my brothers. Not as much as I can my sister Jill, but she’s a girl.  

The Longview course is terrific. I don’t know how many of the holes Jason designed, but I assume they were the toughest. The playing surface at putt-putt is fast, except when it’s not. If you hit the ball too hard, it might jump the one-layer brick fence and cost you a stroke. Hit it too soft, and the ball won’t be able to climb the gentle slope and come right back to you.  

We would still be playing, had Jason not established the rule that “six” is the most strokes you can make at one hole. When you’ve got six strokes and the hole is still behind the bridge over the water, just quit. The first time I did that I was embarrassed. After a while, I accepted it better.

We never tallied the score, because our athletic persona would melt. However, Al left the scorecard with me, and I’m going to do the math right now. Since the brothers didn’t want to know their scores, I’ll share them with you. – Give me a second. – Okay. Here are the scores from oldest brother to youngest. Larry 78. Dennis 67. Mark 70. Al 59.

The experience wasn’t as dangerous as our non-golfing expeditions, but I considered it one step beyond my abilities. Regarding the course itself, it was challenging. Of course, most outdoor sports have become a challenge for me. Bending over to get the golf ball out of the hole was a challenge for me.

            When we got home, my neighbor was outside with his two small kids. When I told him we had just come back from Longview Greens, he said that his kids have a blast when he takes them there. Ages five and two, and I’ll bet Oliver could beat me. But I’d give his little sister a run for her money.

You ask me, Montgomery County is blessed to have an attractive, well-managed putt-putt golf place. I know it’s good when the family is in town.

While we had a lot of fun, we were each too pooped to eat any dessert, so Kay cut some slices for the brothers to take home. It wasn’t an expedition in the Rockies or shooting the rapids in the Colorado River, but for us, it was madcap.    Jason@longviewgreens.com 

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The speed of smart

 

 

Hayter for Feb 26, 2023

“Okay, we’re going somewhere with this.” 

        I’ve been mulling over some deep thoughts this morning. Unfortunately, they won’t stick with me long, so I thought I’d write ‘em down just in case I need ‘em later.

        It started with “orange”. The word entered my noggin without being summoned. What are you supposed to do when something like that happens? Well, instead of trying to figure out why orange appeared, I thought -- Which came first, the name of the color or the name of the fruit?

I know I’m not the first one to ask that question, but the question was new to me. Had the question hit me back during my high school days, there is no telling how long it would’ve taken me to find the answer. This morning it took me 11 seconds to pull up google and type in “which came first “orange the fruit or orange the color?

Before I could count to two – poof! I got the answer as well as an explanation of the answer. -- “Orange the fruit came before orange the color. Orange originated from the Sanskrit word nāraṅga, meaning “orange tree.’ Only later in the 16th century was it used to describe the color.

I’ve always had quite the imagination, but no vision. I never saw the personal computer doing the stuff it can do now. I thought I’d be dead before that much information could be made available in so short of a time. And right here at my house!

Of course, after watching Blade Runner, which was filmed in 1982, depicting life as it might be in 2019, I began thinking that Kay and I might live long enough to be speaking an Asian language and have a home that hovered 500 feet off the ground.

There have been right at a zillion advances in science and technology during my time on this planet. At the moment, I view the most valuable advancement to be in the amount of accessible information and the speed at which we can obtain it.  

During my stint at Sam Houston University, I took about 114 classes and had to complete about 1026 research papers. (The numbers are merely a guess.) Eighty percent of my time at Sam Houston was spent in the college library looking for info on the topic of the day. I learned more about how to use the library than I did from skimming all the information I located.

Go forward a few years, and I’m teaching at Oak Ridge, where I was invited to take part in a project involving the gathering of information from universities, Public and Private libraries, and a few other places that had info to share. The information was delivered over telephone lines to what, by today’s standards, would be an ancient computer linked to a landline telephone.  

The process required me to use computer language to locate info.  I’m dumb as dirt when it comes to technology. I’m fairly sure that’s why my friend Bob Ezell chose me. Bob is among the best teachers and communicators I’ve ever known. And he’s sharp as a tack. You see, I believe his logic in choosing me was, “If Hayter can do this, anybody can.”

  I’m sure we all know that Hayter isn’t just anybody. I failed miserably at the job of finding information that would help me in teaching. In preparing lesson plans, it took me hours to come up with a partial plan for a one-hour class. I had less trouble finding information in the Sam Houston Library than I did in using the early stages of the Internet. Bob would’ve been better off had he asked a student to take my place in the program.   

That was 30-plus years ago. Now the Internet is EZ PZ, and you find more stuff as fast as all get out. How can you possibly improve on something like that? The answer is “Wi-fi”.  While the early Internet required phone lines, WiFi can connect your computer or television to towers as well as satellites. The information is sent from towers to satellite(s) 20,000 miles up. The information is beamed down in a computer language to any place that a magic code sends it. All of this happens in nano-seconds.

Tell you what, I’m going to use my computer to see if there is a Pizza Hut in Peru. – Excuse me a second. – (11 seconds later) There are two Pizza Huts in Lima, Peru. And, I could place an order for a large thin-crust Pepperoni to be delivered to a friend in Lima, if I had one.

You wanna know what can really mess with your mind? -- Pretend you do. --

In 1969, A Saturn 5 rocket shot three astronauts to the moon. Two of them set foot on the surface, while the third kept orbiting the moon until the other two left the surface and returned to the space capsule. Two days later the Apollo 11 capsule fell into the Pacific at a place previously mapped out. – And all of that was done through the use of slide rules.

        While in high school I had no idea how a slide rule functioned. Hundreds of numbers and markings on three pieces of wood, when aligned perfectly, could tell you something. Once I could add, subtract, multiply, divide, and calculate the sine and cosine of stuff using a slide rule. I never had any idea how a sliding stick managed to do all of that. Nor do I know what a sine or cosine is.

        The point is, after high school, college, and teaching I researched enough material to get by on. Now I’m retired, and I have the time and ability to learn more than I ever knew in all my previous years on the planet. 

If you ask me, it’s time I (we) take advantage of the ease of learning. So much stuff out there that’s just waiting to bounce around in space until it reaches your house. I will continue with that thought later. At the moment, I feel the need for a thin-crust pepperoni pizza. Extra sauce. – Next time. 

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