Everybody move in closer

Levi and Cash being repelled from Jungle Gym by Violet

“Duck for acorns”

    ROOFTOP – I must caution you about falling limbs. One hit on the eastside of the roof just before you arrived. It wasn’t big enough to kill anybody, but it would’ve stunned you. Wasn’t even that close, but it scared the willies out of me. I’m now without willies. 

    Since there are no limbs hanging over this part of the roof, what say we all huddle together over here? – That’s a little too close. – Better.

    I must admit it’s rare that a dead limb of any size finds the roof. We get a lot of acorns, though. A stiff breeze will blow through and you’ll think someone is tossing rocks at you. Those things hit with a loud thwack.  Thwack? I hate to try to spell sounds.

    Unlike last year, this is a good year for acorns. I haven’t witnessed too many squirrels taking advantage of the surplus. We lost a bunch of squirrels last year due to the drought. It’s apparently going to take another year or two for the population to build.

    Just as well, ‘cause we had way too many of those critters running around before the drought. You can’t convince me that some of ‘em weren’t throwing acorns at me. A yard full of overly confident squirrels is a bad thing. They stand out there and taunt you. “Hey, whatcha gonna do about it? Huh?” They’re just begging me to chase ‘em. I never play their game. Not anymore. 

    What I hate worse than a smug squirrel is a big black lizard with two yellow stripes on its back. I saw one of those this afternoon. It had one of those snubbed noses. I hate the snubnose. The thing was fast, too. Looked like a black “S” racing across the carport.  Ran in a “S” shape. I don’t know how they do it.

    I’d google “black lizard” and find out what kind it is, but then I’d dream about ‘em. If I see a picture of a snake or mean-looking lizard, I dream about ‘em.

Same thing with the Mafia and motorcycle gangs. I’ve been watching “Boardwalk Empire” and “Sons of Anarchy.”  Not too many scary shows scare me anymore. But, shows where people act really cruel? That stuff scares me. Let me tell you, there are some mean characters on Boardwalk and Sons. And I still watch ‘em. How do you explain something like that? Hey, it’s rhetorical. We don’t judge one another on the roof. – Speaking of which, I realize that all motorcycle gang members are not cruel. Just some of the ones on “Sons of Anarchy.”

What we need is a massive subject change. Let’s try this one. -- Boy, if you had been here Saturday week, you would’ve had a blast. I wouldn’t have had enough for you to eat, but you would’ve had fun watching the nieces and nephews run around acting crazy. Falling down, throwing stuff and yelling. Unless family visits, my yard doesn’t experience a lot of that.

We had some good eats. Unfortunately, my brisket was sub par, but a few lied and told me it was great. There are some family members who will not lie about food. Do you have any of those?

And, Kay’s pie. She made a nutty, whip cream, cream cheese and caramel concoction. It’s been banned in Oklahoma.

When things died down here, Al invited everyone over to his place for finger foods. We had never had finger foods at a gathering before. Finger foods take way too much prep for me. Al and Marlena went to a lot of trouble to prepare all the treats we had. They kept bringing out dishes of stuff. We’d finish one appetizer after another. Topped the evening off with some homemade ice cream.

Al cookin' up stuff

We sat out and talked till late. The mosquitoes were a little more active than they are tonight. Al had to light up some PIC. Remember the green spiral wick that you would light at the drive-in theater? They had the commercial where the giant mosquito is telling you to not believe it. That it “dooon’t work.” Then he croaks.

When Al got out the PIC, it made us think of the times Dad took us to the drive-in. All of the snacks Mom made for us; the playground area just under the big screen; the speaker boxes that made it sound like people were talking into tin cans. Ah, those were the days. I wouldn’t want to go back for anything, but they were fun while we had ‘em.

And, it’s been fun up here. Hasn’t it? Lie to me if you have to. The mosquitoes haven’t bothered us much. We got to share a thought or two. And, no one got taunted by a squirrel or thwacked by an acorn. I call that a good night.

end

You can reach Mark at mark@rooftopwriter.com