Do you generally talk to the person on the other side of the gas pump when you’re filling up? I seldom do, and I think people appreciate that.
The rule of thumb is that if you have to go out of your way to make eye contact, you don’t need to speak. There’s not enough time to develop a relationship; the person might pull out photos of the grandkids; you might hafta buy Girl Scout cookes-- That kind of stuff.
I said that to say this – Yesterday I had a conversation with the guy next to me at the Kroger gas-up place. He started it. Asked me about my car. It’s a little-bitty thing. A Yaris. It’s Japanese for “eel egg.” Just a guess.
I told the gassing-guy about the mileage and the back wiper. He was impressed. All the while I’m subconsciously judging him. (I realize it’s hard to know what you’re thinking when you’re doing it subconsciously.)
Who is this guy? How smart is he? Does he prefer “Gilligan’s Island” over “Seinfeld”? In about, oh, 12 seconds, I assessed him as a sharecropper, junior high education, considered Jim Backus his favorite actor. (My Grandpa Hayter was a sharecropper. And, he didn’t have a TV.)
It wasn’t long before the conversation turned to TV programs. The switch came right after a guy in a pickup stopped and asked if we wanted to buy a TV sound system, still in the box. He got a good deal on it and wanted to “pass it forward.”
As he drove off, the tenant farmer said, “Nice guy. Wanted to give us a good deal on a stolen TV sound system.” Then he said, “Do you get PBS? I don’t have cable or satellite but I think it’s on channel 8, or something like that.” He asked if I ever watched “Doc Martin.”
Is he kidding? I’ve seen every episode the British have made available. (They’re really holding back on Doc Martin.) I love the Doc. Oddest-looking person in the British Isles. (Hard to beat the British for homely). But, I do enjoy the characters, the rural coastal setting, and the stories. – I instantly took liking to the farmer.
Then he asked about “Downton Abbey.” The guy was a “Masterpiece Theatre” junkie! In my mind, he’s now a retired professor of Philosophy. Degree from Harvard.
See how I go from one extreme to the next? I’m a bad judge of people. Fortunately, we’re not supposed to judge people at all… unless we’re in an elevator with a guy who looks like Jason Bourne. I’m telling you, Bourne can do some serious damage in an elevator. He could beat up Batman, even.
Oh, and do you wanna know the other time I misjudged somebody at the gas pump? Pretend. It was late at night, just me and one pickup full of thugs a few pumps to my right.
The ringleader sized me up and then started walking my way. I was hoping he didn’t have a knife, ‘cause the thought of getting stabbed horrifies me. Or getting hit with an arrow. I hate arrows. Thank goodness for the invention of the firearm.
As the thug approached, he appeared to be friendly as all get out. (I believe I’ve told you this story before, but bear with me.) He reached into is wallet and pulled out a credit card. Told me that he and his buddies were headed to Houston from Dallas, and they only had three dollars for gas. Would I be willing to give him $10 for a Best Buy gift card that had $15 on it?
I gladly handed him $20, and he graciously gave me the card. He seemed most thankful. I gave him the five extra bucks for not stabbing me. When I got home I checked on the Internet and found that the card was legit. Had $15 bucks on it just like he said. The boy wasn’t a thug at all. As usual, I had misjudged. I hate that about me.
I’ve gotta do better. It’s a bad judge who gets most of his convictions overturned, but it’s a sign of character when one allows personal judgements to be easily reversed. Hey, that just came to me. I probably subconsciously stole it. Oh, how wicked be the subconscious.
And, about the Best Buy card? Kay used it to purchase a Susan Boyle CD. We’re constantly fighting over it. – If you’ve judged me appropriately, you realize I was trying be funny there.
End
To watch a Whine and Dine video about Jimmy John’s Gourmet Sandwiches, click on pic below. You can reach Mark at mark@rooftopwriter.com
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