“Tony”
DALLAS -- What can I say about Tony
Cross? Fortunately, I wasn’t asked to say anything. His brother, friends, and a
church of Christ preacher did a much better job than I could in describing the life
and times of Kay’s 33 year-old nephew.
One
young lady described Tony as loud, loving and fun. He was definitely all of those,
but the “loud” part stood out more for me. When Tony was a kid, you had to
watch him. Watch him close. Had I been his first grade teacher, I would’ve demanded
home schooling for the lad.
When ADHD (Attention
Deficit Hyperactive Disorder) was invented, the condition immediately attached
itself to Tony, which explained why he was the bane of some instructors and the
target of many bullies. Tony had no awareness of his trouble making. He just
finished his assignments quickly and then started visiting with the rest of the
class.
I must say, I didn’t
exactly light-up at the thought of Tony’s presence during his early years. He
was big into computers, which meant I didn’t understand half of what he said.
He enjoyed computer games so much that after getting a degree in, uh, computer stuff,
he got a job working for a company that created computer games.
When he tried to
explain about a project he was working on, I’d zone out after the second
sentence. One technical thing I did enjoy hearing about was how he would use
something called “motion capture” in creating the illusion of animated
characters convincingly running, walking, stumbling, smiling, crying,
laughing… I believe he could’ve used
more basic terminology in explaining the technique to me, but I still managed
to catch on to some of what he said,
Fortunately, Tony was
into football, pretty much favoring the same teams I did. He also kept up with
politics and current events, which allowed me to involve myself into some of
our conversations. Tony was one of few people I could disagree with about
politics without either of us getting ticked off at the other. He didn’t have a
mean bone in his body. They were mostly funny bones.
As
previously mentioned, I learned most about Tony from those who spoke at his
Memorial Service. In some of the Power Point photos that were displayed, Tony
was dressed up like a Viking. I had no idea he was into Viking reenactment
events. I didn’t even know there was such a thing.
One
of his friends recalled how he and Tony were once driving somewhere in Dallas.
As the usual Tony was in mid-conversation. Suddenly, he pulled the car over to
the curb and told his friend he’d be back in a minute. Then he jumped out and ran
over to help a family that was struggling to get a couch up to the second floor
of an apartment. The big lug not only liked people, he took time to notice
them.
Just
about everyone who spoke said that Tony was the life of every party. It was
said that he would “Tony up” any gathering. He had a quick mind that generally went
ahead of his talking. He was curious, engaging and adventurous. He had one of
those jeeps that can practically climb a cliff. Many of the photos displayed
during the service gave evidence to practically everything that was said about
Tony.
I
most appreciated the comments Tony’s brother, Steven, made about their
childhood days. Reminded me of when Dennis and I were kids. Steven’s stories
were for the most part humorous, and still made me shed nearly as many tears as
Steven did in the telling.
After
the service, Kay’s family had a cramped gathering in the hotel room of one of
the cousins. The complications getting to the airport in Seattle, the flight to
Dallas, the car rental problems, difficulty reaching the church building where
the service was held, and the emotions stirred during the service made me question
my mental fitness for the gathering. Unlike Tony, I’ve seldom been considered
the life of any party.
I rode with Jill back to the hotel
room. Jill had met Tony two Christmases past, and was flabbergasted at how much
he reminded her of her son, Ethan. She and Tony just seemed to click. She insisted
on driving up from LaPorte to join Kay and me in Dallas. It was so good to have
her there.
Tomorrow, we’ll all go our separate
ways. Kay and I plan to drive back with Jill to LaPorte, stopping off in Conroe
to check on the construction of our new home. We’ll stay the night with Jill, and
then fly back to Washington. We’ll take advantage of more time with our family
and friends in the Northwest.
The past two weeks have been a disturbing time
from all involved. One day we were worried about forest fires, and then we get
the call from Kay’s brother, Mike, about Tony being one of the victims of the
mass shooting in Plano. Tony was with friends in preparation for the Dallas
Cowboys’ game, when the ex-husband of one Tony’s friends walked in and murdered
his ex-wife, and seven others, one of whom was Kay’s nephew, Tony.
During the Memorial Service there
was little mention of the horror of that day. All of the right words were said.
No one attempted to find meaning in the happening. They couldn’t if they tried.
The only thought that gives me a sense comfort comes from a passage found in
Psalm 31. – “As for me, I trust in you, O Lord. I say, ‘You are my God.’ My
times are in your hands.” – Yes, heaven has been Tonied up.
end
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