Virginia's story

September 29, 2019

“Virginia’s Story”

            Everybody has a story. A life story. You were born somewhere and quite possibly had parents and siblings and friends with whom you spent a great deal of your time. Some people have moved a number of times and today live nowhere near the place of their birth.

            Everyone has mental hang-ups of some kind. Some of us have lived through some really bad times in life. Some are currently living in such a time. Among the seven to eight billion people on this planet, most probably have a sense that their life’s story is of no interest to others, including those with whom they live or work. It’s called human nature.

            Well, brothers and sisters, I’m here to change all of that. After watching a presentation on “TED Talks” this morning, I got fired up by a program called “Story Corps.” It’s like the Marine Corps, only instead of guns, they use voice recorders. And, instead of defending our shores, its mission is “to preserve and share humanity’s stories in order to build connections between people and create a more just and compassionate world.” -- If you wade through that a few times, you will likely come to the conclusion that it is the third greatest mission statement in the world.

            The creating of more compassion in this world, this country, this state, our homes involves one of the most difficult processes known to mankind. – Listening. Taking time to interview strangers, friends, family members about each one’s memories of time here on this planet. Their successes, failures, joys, heartbreaks, wishes, dreads… You get the picture. Whatever it is they’re willing to share. According to the Story Corps presentation, so many of us would love for someone to show enough care and concern to ask them questions about their lives. If the interview is voice/video recorded, the person will leave a larger footprint behind than just a few words on a headstone.  

            After listening to the Story Corps story, I developed a passion to start my own crusade to “create a more just and compassionate world.” I chose as my first interviewee Virginia Pliler. -- Applause! No, put the paper down and applaud. That’s better.

            I fully intended to share, in writing, the details of the life of my friend of 47 years, but that was beyond stupid. No one’s life story can be adequately expressed in the space I’ve got left. Besides, one part of Virginia’s story included a quote from her grandson, Ryan. – “Maw Maw is a good storyteller. (pause) And she knows all the details.”

            The thing is, I already know a great deal about my best friend. We’ve seen fire and we’ve seen rain. We’ve had fights that I never thought would never end. We’ve been on camping trips and still managed to be friends. – I could go on, but you have possibly read most of the stories. Some of you will recall the time she got meningitis and fell into a coma for eight days. Freeman and her son Michael were told that her condition was fatal and they needed to prepare the family.

            Well as you might have guessed, God decided it just wasn’t her time. Virginia regained consciousness, mobility, and even her mind. The only big drawback was she quit working on crossword puzzles. She has more trouble focusing her mind now. That didn’t hurt me a bit, because her puzzle skills were always better than mine.

            So many stories, yet, in the short time I have left, I chose to tell you one that I had never before heard. It’s likely the least favorite of Virginia’s memories.    

           

            When I asked about school, not her years as an English teacher but her memory of her first day at school, Virginia said that she really looked forward to it, because she loved the chance to learn. However, the first thing she learned depressed the daylights out of her. It was the first time she realized that she was poor. And, apparently, the first time other children realized there were poor people living not too far from them.

            Virginia remembers that her first-grade teacher told the class that the school was having a clothing drive to help the poor. Each student was to bring to school clothing they didn’t need, so it could be distributed to the less fortunate.  At Virginia’s request, her mom, Ruby Parker,  put a few items in a sack for her to give to her teacher.

            The next school day, Ruby mentioned she would be visiting Virginia’s school that day. Upon her arrival at the end of the day, Virginia’s teacher handed Ruby some paper bags and escorted her to a room containing the donated clothing so she could pick out items for her five children. She was shocked by the realization that this was her mom’s intention all along. Though the clothing was better than Virginia had ever had, she didn’t want to wear any of it for fear some of her classmates would recognize that she was wearing their castaways. – The hearing of that story was the first time I realized that the Parkers could “out poor” the Hayters.

            The times Kay and I have had with Virginia and Freeman have been such a blessing. While I don’t have the space to share the happier moments in my friend’s life, I do have a recording of my interview with her. I’ll share a copy with her family, and keep a file for myself.

            I intend to do the same with future interviews. My hope and prayer are that some of you will see the value in interviewing those around you. As in Virginia’s case, some of the descriptions will bring tears, but others will bring joy and laughter.  In these days of email, texting, and tweeting, so many are encouraged when someone cares enough to sit and listen.

End

Learn more at storycorp.com including suggested interview questions.—hayter.mark@gmail.com