Hayter’s article for May 8, 20“How a fox goes”
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BACK PORCH -- Late evening birds don’t seem nearly as chipper as the early-morning birds. Have you noticed that? When I was here this morning it sounded as if the backyard was the venue for a bird concert. Not The Byrds. They sound somewhat different.
Tonight we’re hearing frog croaking and very little bird singing. I like frogs. Seems like they’ve been hiding out for the last couple of years. Probably frog-COVID. Now they’re hanging on the side of the house or on the leaf of a perennial plant.
This morning when I went out for the paper, I saw a tree frog on the driveway. I thought it out of place until I noticed it was flatter than flitter. It was apparently trying to go from the flower garden to the tree on the other side of the driveway when Kay drove up. I didn’t tell her about it for fear it would break her heart. More likely, she’d claim I did it. No way am I going to intentionally kill a frog. I take that back. There are a couple of species of frogs in Australia that I might kill… before they killed me.
At the moment, a bat keeps getting closer and closer to me. I only kill bats that try to nest in my hair. They’ll do that, you know. When I was a kid, two of my friends on Camille Street said they had bats land on their head. They came up with that story right after I told them that I stepped on a cobra in my backyard. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but kids are really into one-upmanship.
For the last couple of months, my major nemesis has been a raccoon. The only place I find its tracks is on top of my garbage receptical in the backyard. We’ve got city garbage pickup so we place our plastic bags inside a big plastic buckets on wheels that has a lid that flaps down on top of it.
My racoon is somewhat fastidious, in that all of the ripped-up, smelly garbage doesn’t make it into the yard. So, I’ve tried a couple of tricks to make a garbage visit unpleasant for trash eaters. Have you heard about Irish Spring being a repellent for mosquitoes, flies, and some animals? I shared that info with you once. Ivory soap, Dove, Dial, Zest, Neutrogena? Bugs and animals will eat that stuff. But they’re not fond of the Irish. My armpits aren’t that happy with it, either. – That’s an attempt at humor.
I shredded some Irish Spring and tossed it into the garbage bag. That didn’t do the trick, so I tossed Irish Spring inside the garbage bucket and outside around its base. This racoon has possibly lost its sense of smell. Perhaps it would choke on Lava Soap, but that stuff is too expensive to feed to a raccoon.
My raccoon always manages to shut the lid after every meal. If it had thumbs, it could probably rip the lid right off. – Hold on a second. – Ah, here it is. “Raccoons do not have opposable thumbs.” – I thought so. That’s the only thing keeping them from stealing go-carts.
I’ve read of only two things that will ward off raccoons. Ammonia and Fig Newtons. And I made up the Newtons. I have tried ammonia. It apparently requires an entire half-gallon jug of the stuff. I emptied one of Kay’s spray-on on glass cleaner bottles and filled it with ammonia. I sprayed the stuff inside and outside of the garbage bucket, and on the ground around it. I might as well have left the window cleaner in the bottle. It had no noticeable effect on the critter. I’m beginning to think that instead of a raccoon, I’ve got a Sasquatch problem.
But forget the raccoons. Today I read about an animal that we definitely don’t want anywhere near us. Have you heard the song “How does a fox go?” Last week I read that a wild fox managed to gnaw a hole through a wired fence at the Smithsonian National Zoo in DC, and killed 25 of the 74 flamingos. There no way a fox could eat even one Flamingo, yet it killed 25 of ‘em. It also killed a duck that had the misfortune of sharing the same pond. And get this, a few weeks earlier a rabid fox bit nine people near Capitol Hill. One of the bitten was a Congressman.
I had trouble believing that possible, until I read where a fox entered a zoo in Frankfort, Germany back in 2014 and bit the heads off of 15 flamingos. I’m assuming that’s how the DC flamingos fared. I can’t imagine how else a fox could bring down a flamingo.
I did not enjoy telling you that story, but if I can save even one of your chickens, turkeys, or emus from a fox, it would’ve been worth it. By the way, if you’ve got ostriches, you won’t have much trouble. Ostriches are smarter than you think. When a fox is around those things, they know enough to stick their heads in the ground.
I have to tell you, that tonight’s outing has been quite off-putting for me. I’m beginning to get sick at my stomach. I’m also getting just the least bit skittish. I’m not afraid of the fox. It’s the Sasquatch that’s got me worried -- Let’s call it night. Till next time…
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Try a couple shot-cords
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