Hayter’s article for June 19, 2022
I’ve done some dumb stuff in my life, but I’m getting smarter by the day. -- Oh, yes I am. I’m almost as smart as an octopus.
Yesterday morning, I turned on my computer as always and visited my usual Firefox site. It was there that I saw an assortment of titled photos, one of which was that of an octopus. Accompanying the picture were the words “How smart is an octopus?”
I learned a lot about octopi that morning, my friend. Did you know that they have six arms and two legs? I doubt they even know which two are legs. Had I not visited the octopi site, I would’ve gone to my grave not knowing about the smart alecks. They’re characters, all right.
When I was teaching, I knew a lot of stuff. I could’ve told you who was in the President’s Cabinet. You never know when a kid is going to ask you something like that. They never did, so I had to bring the names up in conversation. After I retired I began studying things that I didn’t have time to research before. It’s so easy to do now. All the info that you didn’t ask for, now just pops up on my computer screen. So now, I’m learning stuff that I never knew I wanted to know.
So, right now, I’m going to show you what I mean. Quieten down and try not to crowd me! Here we go. – Look at this. Right off the bat, we see a way to keep food cool without a refrigerator. It involves two clay pots, sand, and water… Okay, I just scanned it and found it not worth our time. I may try it when my refrigerator dies or is murdered. At the moment the ice maker is testing me. It has a mind of its own.
I love quotes. Here’s one from Michael J. Fox. It involves something aimed at marriage. Michael said, “The key to our marriage is to realize that it's not how our similarities work together; it's how our differences work together.”
So, true. Yesterday I ate a small bowl of shrimp salad that Kay made for herself. It wasn’t all that much, so I figured she had already eaten hers. She hadn’t. When she noticed it was gone, she went all Glenn Close on me. And why? Because we’re similar in the fact that we both like shrimp salad.
Had it been a leafy green salad with vinaigrette oil all over it, there would’ve been no problem, because I don’t like wacky salads. I’ve never had trouble stealing something from Kay that she didn’t like. That’s what Fox meant about working out your differences. Possibly.
Moving along, look to the right and you’ll see a picture of someone pouring a two-liter bottle of Coca-Cola into the gas tank of a Chevy. Don’t anybody try this until I see how it comes out.
Wow! This guy was desperate to get noticed on the Web! He poured the Coke into the gas tank and drove the Chevy to see if Coke is still the Real Thing when used in gasoline. It’s not. His car died after a couple of minutes on the road. The guy paid $135 for a mechanic to determine the damage to the car. The mechanic told him that to remove the Coca-Cola from every affected portion of the engine would cost him $1500, and if any part of the engine had to be replaced due to the Real Thing, it would cost him a few thousand more.
I could’ve died happily not knowing any of that. But, nooo. I just had to read it. Beg your pardon? -- “What luck would you have with Dr Pepper in your gas tank?” – “Hmm, Dr Pepper won’t work well at all. And, no, I’m not sure about Root Beer. Andy, if you don’t mind, I’m leaving this topic.”
Next is a picture of Tom Hanks with the caption “Tom Hanks explains it all.” I don’t know about you, but I would like to hear the explanation of “it all.” Give me a minute. -- Forget it. I was sent to an article in the New York Times about the upcoming movie “Elvis”. Tom Hanks plays Col. Tom Parker, Elvis’ manager. I’ve seen the previews, and from what little I saw, I thought the Elvis actor was great. But as far as Tom Hanks explaining it all? Another time, maybe.
Whoa! Here’s a picture of a guy standing next to a Great Dane. A “dog”, not Danish royalty. The dog is currently the largest dog in the world. From its shoulders to the ground it is 44 inches high. Keep in mind that the dog has a head and neck that isn’t a part of that measurement. When on its hind legs, the critter is over seven feet tall. The dog is only three years old, and a Great Dane’s lifespan is seven to eight years.
For the past week, Kay has been taking care of the neighbor’s pug. She is the ugliest dog on the planet. It was bred to be ugly. The breed is low to the ground and has a smashed nose that makes its breathing a real struggle. Molly is constantly panting and trying to clear her throat. I feel sorry for the dog, but I just don’t like to look at her.
That being said, if need be, Kay would try to adopt the dog. The thought of keeping a pug in our house is viewed differently by Kay and me. Which makes the point that I now see what Michael J Fox meant by the importance in a marriage of having our differences work together.
Okay, that’s it. You’re now free to learn stuff on your own. I recommend you study the boa constrictor. The thing sleeps between meals.
end
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