Hayter for Oct 27, 2024
“What a columnist
might write while sick.”
Do you have any idea how many articles I’ve written while sick? Well, I’ve done the math and have come up with 132 sick articles out of the 2244 that I’ve written. I’d borrow one of my old sick articles right now, but it would take the rest of the day for me to find one. I don’t remember ever using the word “sick” in the title of anything. Till now.
So, what I’ve done here is laid the groundwork for today’s article which I’m titling. “What--“ Oh, you can see the title up at the top. Of course, I can’t write about something while pretending to be well. What do you think? – No comment? Okay, then I’m writing while feeling lousy.
I don’t really know if what I caught has a name. Kay recently had something like it. Of course, she’s seldom as sick as I am. (You might keep that comment to yourself.) I don’t know the name of what I’ve got, but it’s probably got one. Maybe it’s COVID 87. My symptoms started with being tired, addle-brained, head achy, in possession of a sore throat, achy bones and muscles, a runny nose, and a cough that started at my feet and ended at the base of my throat. That, and I’m not really excited about going anywhere or carrying on a conversation.
I have to sleep in the guest room because my coughing keeps both Kay and me awake. If not COVID it may be one of the 600 flu’s going around. I don’t know if I’m contagious, but I’m going to try to play racquetball with Brad tomorrow just to see if I can generate some energy. Bradford will be happy to hear I’m sick because I’ll be so much easier to beat. The big goof beats me most of the time, anyway.
The only common childhood sickness that I recall catching was chicken pox. After having the pox, I remember having small indention in my skin. I haven’t noticed them lately, because I have collected so many other spots and indention's of late. I never got the mumps or the measles. I remember hoping I’d get the measles so I could skip school. If I recall, the mumps caused your neck to swell. I never had a fat neck. Don’t care for one now.
I do not remember ever missing a day of school. I always got a perfect attendance award. I remember in junior high I broke my collarbone in P.E. and Mom had to pick me up at school and take me to the doctor. On the last day of school, when they handed out perfect attendance awards, they did not intend to give me one, because I missed half a day after my collarbone injury. But, Mrs. Speights, my math teacher, who just happened to go to the same church as my family, went to the office and told the Principal that I was denied perfect attendance due to an injury I acquired while at school. And I came back after I got a shoulder wrap. Mrs. Speights was a thoughtful lady. God knows that better than I do.
Hold on, just a second. -- Kay’s
wanting my attention. You might grab more coffee or a Dr Pepper. I’ll be back
in a second.
“What is it sweet pea? -- Well that’s nice of you, but I’ll sleep in the guest room again tonight. Actually, it doesn’t matter what room, because I doubt I’ll sleep anyway. Right now I need to get a handful of cough drops. The readers didn’t say anything, but they’re bound to notice that I’m coughing a lot. – No worries. I’ll be through in just a bit. – Love you, too.”
Okay, is everybody back? Well, I lost a few of you. I more than understand. I wanted to share with you a story about the day when a horrible sickness spread across the campus of Stephen F. Austin University in Nacogdoches, TX. I’m thinking it was the fall of 68. It happened on the Saturday of our Homecoming Football game. We were playing some college out of Louisiana.
Well, it turned out that on the Friday
before the game or the morning of the big game, a third of the campus got sick
as a dog. Or cat. Let’s use cats. I’ve made no secret of the fact that I’m not
a cat man. They’re too proud to be sick. --
Anyway, the food prepared the evening before or the morning of the big
game did a number on a bunch of us. Johnny Sutton and his roommate Gary Glover, my
brother Dennis, and I, each ate at the cafeteria closest to our dorm. And each
of us got sick.
Johnny was the first. O’ the horror.
Dennis drove to Brookshire Brothers and managed to buy the last jar of
Kaopectate. It was too late to help Johnny. The boy lost everything he had
eaten both the day before and the morning of the big game. The three who weren’t
sick, left our adjoining rooms and sat on the brick wall looking over the football
stadium.
Gary was the first to join Johnny. He just
up and ran. I don’t know if Johnny was out of the restroom or not. I didn’t
want to know. Eventually, it was Dennis’ turn. O’ the horror! I would get my
turn after the game. My digestive system has always been weird.
Yes, my friend, it a was cool and lovely
day, but it wasn’t a good day for a lot of us. Fortunately, that weekend the
Lumberjack football players catered their meals. One thing is certain, there
are some old SFA Alumni, spread out across this state and country, who remember
that they were among the SFA Lumberjacks who got sick at homecoming in ‘68. I have no remembrance of who won the game. While
I didn’t really care at the time, now I’m curious. -- O’ the horror.
end
hayter.mark@gmail.com
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