Hayter for July 13, 2025“
The Rise of Underwear and Coffee
This morning, I found myself mulling over some of the changes I’ve made over the years. Take underwear, for instance. I’m to understand that my first underwear were actually diapers. As I remember, they were bulky pieces of white cloth covered in powder and so thick that I couldn’t put my knees together.
From there, I went to wearing white briefs, the same as wrestlers still wear, only theirs come in different colors. I haven’t done enough research to determine who it was that thought children should take on the style of wrestler-briefs. Ghandi’s parents refused to buy them.
There was a time when Dennis and I wore our briefs outside. Mom must’ve suggested it, because I would’ve never come up with it. So we’re running around in the front yard like we had sense.
Eventually, I quit playing around in briefs. It happened shortly before Dennis started school at Gardens Elementary, one of the few elementary schools without a garden in sight. To start school, my big brother got some new blue jeans and shirts with buttons. I don’t remember much of my early life when Dennis wasn’t there. I imagine I played outside while wearing shorts and a T-shirt with its short sleeves rolled up to my shoulders. I’ve got a picture.
I think I was in high school when I
swapped my briefs for boxers. That’s what happens when you become a man. If I
recall, my dad wore boxers all his life. Of course, I missed out on his early
years in Bristow, Oklahoma, so I don’t know what he wore back then. Being the fifth
child in the Hayter family, I was the first to be born in Texas. If Dad hadn’t
lost his job in the oil fields, I would’ve been the fifth Hayter born in
Oklahoma. -- See how bad things can turn out to be blessings?
I wore boxers up until 1989, when someone invented boxer briefs. The material was tight like briefs, but only longer at the thighs. While I still wear the style, I recently purchased a pack of boxer underwear for old time’s sake. I find that I like the loose fit. I’m not crazy about the name, though. I didn’t know the name until I opened the package containing six pairs of tightly rolled underwear.
I decided to open the package at home instead of at Sam’s. No way could anyone get those shorts back in the bag. At home, I couldn’t help but notice that the inch-and-a-half elastic band around the top of the boxers had the name “Lucky Brand” stenciled all around the band. What a lousy name for anything, especially underwear! That’s a name that just dares you to have bad luck.
I can see a nurse in the emergency room saying, “Dr. Wilma, this is our third patient this week wearing 'Lucky Brand' boxers. – Wilma replies, “These %^&* men! When will they ever learn to read labels?” -- That’s why I only wear my Lucky Brand boxers around the house.
That’s pretty much how I learn things -- from experience. Take coffee, for instance. I first tried it when I was young, because I wanted to be like my daddy, a man who started chewing tobacco at the age of nine. I worked up the courage to ask Mother if she would make me a cup of coffee so I could see what it was like. I don’t know what possessed her, but she actually made me a cup of Folgers Instant coffee. Dad always bought the cheapest coffee possible. He was likely unaware that instant coffee is what they serve in prison. I’m not even aware of it,
A thought hit me immediately after taking my first sip of coffee. -- How on earth could anyone enjoy a hot, strong cup of an acrid liquid? Of course, at that time, I had yet to learn the word “acrid”. The one thing that got me to enjoy coffee was my summer job at Ben Foster’s Pipe Insulation and Adhesives Plant. I’ve mentioned it a few times because the place keeps haunting me. I worked there for four summers to pay my way through college.
At BF, the first thing the guys did every
morning was sit around on five-gallon buckets, drink coffee, and chew the fat.
That was my second time trying coffee. It turned out that the coffee was
actually brewed! I was blind to the brewed, but now I can see! It changed my life.
Since retirement, I’ve introduced myself to Keurig K-Cups. The Keurig maker can brew a cup of coffee within a minute. I don’t know how it works, but I’m thinking the process is dangerous. But I’ve agreed to accept whatever happens.
Recently, I accidentally introduced myself to cold coffee. I bravely took a sip of coffee that I had left on the cabinet for most of the day. Well, I took a sip of the stuff and didn’t cringe. In fact, I thought it was refreshing, a word often used in commercials. Now I brew two cups of coffee each morning. I put one in the refrigerator to drink in the evening. Each day, I end up drinking two hot coffees and one cold. I don’t know what my dad would’ve thought of that. It’s likely better that he didn’t live to witness it.
Those are only two examples of me dealing with change. I don’t mean to be pushy, but at a gathering of family or friends, it might be a good moment to share the cause of some of the changes in your life. Such moments can keep family and friends closer together.
End
No comments:
Post a Comment