Jefferson Trip

March 24, 2019

“Trip to Jefferson”

 

            There was no such thing as Spring Break during my tenure as a student. At least not in Texas. We had what was called “Two days off for Easter,” and were proud to get it.

            In 1960, a movie called “Where the Boys Are” came out in most theaters. The picture involved some goings-on in Fort Lauderdale during something called “Spring Break.” While the “Boys” were partying in Florida, I was seated somewhere in Mrs. Powell’s sixth-grade class at Pomeroy elementary in Pasadena, Texas. Even if the School Board had heard of Spring Break, they wouldn’t have given us one. Our parents would have revolted. 

            When I became a high school teacher, I experienced a lot of spring breaks. I liked ‘em, too. Kay and I would occasionally take short trips with Virginia and Freeman to dull places where kids wouldn’t likely visit. Now that we’re retired we don’t go anywhere during spring break, because I don’t want to share my fun with a bunch of kids. 

            Last week, we made the exception after Jill asked Kay and me to go to the small town of Jefferson with her. Why Jefferson? Jill wanted to see the statue of Big Foot. It doesn’t take much for my kid sister. Crazy me, I had no idea why the good people of Jefferson would want a Big Foot. It would be akin to the town of Wapanuka, OK putting up a statue of Jerry Lewis.  

            Turns out, there have been several sightings of Sasquatch in and around Jefferson, Texas. While I’m not certain that a Sasquatch is the same as a Big Foot, I’m fairly certain that a clear photo of either of them does not exist. Matters not, I’ve been to Jefferson, and it’s loaded with interesting stuff. 

            A friend of ours, JJ, is from Jefferson and she told us to be sure to go to the place that serves cornbread sandwiches. I asked her for the name of the place and she said, “Well, Mark, you’ll need to look for a place with the name “CORNBREAD” in it, you jackass!” --  JJ didn’t say “jackass” but I could tell she thought it. (The actual name is “Kit’s Kornbread Sandwich & Pie Bar.” Unfortunately, there is no Kuntry Katfish at the KK & PB.)

            Instead of renting rooms at one of the many hotels in the town of 2106 residents, Kay decided to go online to“Airbnb” to find one of several bed and breakfast places. She found a dandy. It was an old house with an old house feel and an old two-wheeled cart for a coffee table. Kay almost killed herself tripping over the protruding handles of that cart. I placed one of the old, uncomfortable wooden chairs over the handles, so she would not have a re-fall, and so Jill and I wouldn’t have our first fall. 

            The best places to see in Jefferson are… well, most of the places. It rained the three days we were there, so we only got to shop. We didn’t even get to complete the Big Foot Trail. We did see the creature, though. That thing was starkers. I thought the creatures would at least have had an awareness of nudity. They’ve certainly seen enough clothed humans traipsing through the woods. You’d think they’d catch on.

            We did get some great photos of the monster. In one of them, Big Foot is ogling Jill, and in another, Jill is ogling Big Foot. I took on a wrestling stance for my pose. And, Kay? Kay didn’t want her picture taken with the furry beast. There is a point of propriety beyond which Kay will venture. One of the reasons I married her. 

            I do not have time to tell you of all the great places we visited in Jefferson, so I’ll just hit the high lights. Riverport BBQ has the best smoked ribs, I’ve ever had. Of course, I generally consider the ribs I’m eating at any given moment to be the best I’ve ever had. Same with pie. 

            Don’t miss a visit to the Jefferson General Store. You could spend like 40 hours in there. In fact, Jill did. There were so many toys and candies of my youth. You can see some the goodies in Cracker Barrell, but The Barrel is much prouder of their candy and toys than Jeff’s General Store is. 

            I wanted to grab some of the toy guns and balsa wood airplane gliders, and cars and trucks and just run all over the store with ‘em. But, after seeing Kay do all of that, I realized how stupid it’d look. I did end up getting a giant peanut patty, a hard, thick disc of red sugar with peanuts in it.

            Please visit the lady in The Blackburn Syrup Works. She is an absolute jewel. And, since her husband passed away, she’s looking to sell the store. Too much work for the retired kindergarten teacher. So, one of you needs to buy her store, complete with all of the best jelly, syrups, sauces, and memorabilia you’d ever want. And, after purchasing her store, you must be as nice as that lady. Again, an absolute jewel.

            As for the cornbread sandwich? Jill’s review was the best. She said, “It’ll do if you don’t have bread.” -- I thought it tasty, but I wish I had asked for a chili cornbread sandwich. My only true disappoint of our trip had to do with the weather. We didn’t get to go on the haunted tour or take the carriage town-tour, or the boat tour of Caddo Lake.

            But, we did get to see Big Foot. And I’ve got to tell you, if that thing is as muscled up as the statue portrays, it’s still out there. Nothing could bring down that monster

  

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You can contact Mark at hayter.mark@gmail.com.