July 11, 2019
“Two bloody bear arms”
A few years back I taught government at McCullough
and Oak Ridge High Schools. I taught several other history courses, but teaching
government to seniors was my favorite assignment. It’s amazing how people of
all ages know so little about our rule of laws.
That being said, I’m going to let you be a
fly on the wall in one of my classes, as I discuss the first 10 Amendments to
the Constitution. We call ‘em The Bill of Rights. By the way, I provide weird
hints meant to help students remember each amendment. So, from now to the end
of class, regardless of what you see or hear, don’t panic. I have this under
control.
----
Okay,
everyone take a seat. It’s time for us to continue our study of the
Constitution of these United States. -- Uh, Meryl, I wasn’t speaking literally,
when I said “take a seat,” so, kindly put the chair back where you got it.
Today we’re going to begin a study
on the amendments to the Constitution. By the time I’m through with you, you’ll
be able to ace a test on all of those suckers. – I’m sorry? No, Meryl, an
amendment is not a flavor of gum. It is something that alters or adds to the
Constitution. And, do you wanna know what’s weird? Since the ratification of
our constitution, there have been only 27 written changes made. And that, my
leaders of tomorrow, explains why we have the oldest working Constitution in world.
The thing was so well thought-out.
While our Constitution can be
changed, the process is beastly. It requires two thirds of Congress or two
thirds of the states to propose an amendment, and three fourths of the States
to agree on it. Today, that’d be 38 states. I’m telling you, it’s beastly!
For the next two class periods,
we’re going to concentrate on the first 10 amendments. Eventually I’ll cover
all 27 of ‘em. When I’m through, you will all be able to ace a test over the
amendments. At least, that’s my hope… that and a trip to Disney World.
Amendment 1 is all about five basic, individual
rights: Freedom of religion and speech, freedom of the press, freedom to peaceably assemble, and freedom to petition the government about some
gripe you might have. These are rights that the colonists were denied when
Britain was in charge. So, after we ran the British off, we wanted to make sure
that our new government would guarantee us rights.
Unfortunately, the first amendment
is way too vague. Does freedom of speech mean that I can legally make up stuff
about a person in order to destroy his reputation? No, we let the Supreme Court
come up with rules against slander and liable, through a process called
Judicial Review. Although the process is not mentioned in the Constitution, it
was derived from one of the most ingenious court rulings in this nation’s
history – “Marbury vs. Madison.” We’ll look at it next semester.
If you have trouble remembering the
First Amendment One, keep in mind that it assures that basic rights are
guaranteed to each and every ONE of us. Got it? You can better remember the
five freedoms by their initials RAPPS. – Religion, Assembly, Press, Petition, and Speech. -- Let’s move along.
The Second Amendment was also
attributed to our war against Britain. When the colonists started getting
snitty, the Brits confiscated their weapons and brought in more Red Coats. The
colonists were farmers and such, so we had no standing army either during or
immediately after the Revolution. As a result, our Founding Fathers came up
with the only amendment that gives a reason for its need. Amendment 2: “A well regulated Militia, being
necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and
bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”
For whatever reason, our Founding Fathers chose not
to write: “The possibility of our government turning on its citizens, the right
of the people to keep and bear Arms shall not be infringed.” – Of course, a 28th
amendment can be added to reword the second Amendment, or the Supreme Court
could change the thing by ruling on a case pertaining to the bearing of arms.
The
way you might want to remember this amendment, is to think of a really tough
hunter walking up to a bear and tearing its arms off. At that point, he holds
up two bloody bear arms. I added the “bloody” part just to create a more vivid
image in your minds. (Note to flies on the wall: Today, no one needs any help
remembering the 2nd Amendment.)
Now,
you’re really going to need help remembering the next amendment, because it’s
never been used… to my knowledge. When we were a colony, the Red Coats would
march into a town and the colonists weren’t nice to ‘em at all. Wouldn’t let
‘em camp in their backyards. Stuff like that. So, the Brits issued a
“Quartering Act” requiring colonists to house and feed Red Coats. Thus, we have
Amendment 3: “No Soldier shall, in time of peace be
quartered in any house without the consent of the owner; nor in time of war,
but in a manner to be prescribed by law.”
The
way to remember this is to picture a soldier knocking on the door of house of a
young, recently married couple. The soldier demands entrance, but the husband
says, “No way, sergeant! Two’s company and three’s
a crowd.”
I
realize that a few of you have been nodding off, so I will now end this
lecture, and finish it the same time next week, when I’ll cover amendments four
through 10. I’ll use less detail on them. Excuse me. – Yes, Meryl, feel free to
use the remainder of class time to pass around a petition stating that I not go
over the next seven amendments. And, Meryl, I really hate to encourage you,
sir, but you, are a hoot. You remind me of me.
end
hayter.mark@gmail.com
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