August 4, 2019
“A
Lion 8 Him—Your last class”
Okay,
okay, everybody settle down. I am about ready to finish off the Bill of Rights.
While you’re getting out your notes, I’m going to take care of something back
at my desk.
---
For
those of you who missed my last two articles, today you will imagine that
you’re a fly on the wall in one of my government classes from a few years back.
I’m finishing up on a lecture over the first 10 amendments to the Constitution,
something we call The Bill of Rights. I’m down to the last three.
---
He’s
back. Before we get started on Amendment Eight, let’s have a quick review of
the first seven. Nancy, what’s the clue to help you remember the need for a
search warrant? “What are you looking 4, Mr. Hayter.” -- Super!
Kyle,
what amendment was written assuring you the right to a jury trial when being
sued? -“I can’t remember stuff under pressure, but I know the amendment about
quartering soldiers. Two’s company, 3’s a crowd.” -- I’ll take it, Kyle.
Jennifer,
you can’t be forced to testify against yourself. -- “I plead the fifth, Mr.
Hayter.” Good. – Jackie, which amendment gives you the right to worship a tree?
“That is Amendment One, because it gives each ONE of us ‘Freedom of Religion.’”
Perfect, kiddo!
Frank,
hand over your rifle. – “Over my 2 bloody bear arms will I give you my rifle,
Mr. Hayter!” Ripe on, partner. – Teri, what do you call a case involving a
lawsuit? – “That’s a civil case, Mr. Hayter, and it’s mentioned in the Seventh
Amendment. Civil seven.” You’re a peach, young lady!
Curtis,
unless the Constitution denies you the right to sing on a street corner, you
have the right to do it. -- “Let’s see, the right would be MINE, which rhymes
with NINE and stands for pool.” – You’re The Man, Curtis.
Jessica,
a judge sentences you to life in prison for a traffic violation. – “That’d be
cruel and unusual, Mr. Hayter. You might say I got “8 by a lion.” Right you
are, young lady. – Deni, Texas has the right to collect a sales tax. – “So does
TENnessee, Mr. Hayter. Tenth Amendment!” You’re scratching me right where I
itch, Deni.
So,
Meryl, you’ve been sitting in jail for two years waiting for a trial. – “Am I
in a cell at Guantanamo?” – Nope. – “Well, in that case, I’d say ‘Speedy Six!’
The Sixth Amendment, sir.” -- Meryl,
thank you for being serious for a change. – “I was just joking. I meant the
seventh?”
On
that note, let us begin. Amendment Eight is vague, vaguer, Vegas. However, there
is a reason for that. Listen to the wording. -- “Excessive bail shall not be
required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments
inflicted.” The words “excessive, cruel and unusual” were purposefully too
general, requiring the courts to rule on their meanings. Over the years, judges
would be more likely to let the cultural changes of society affect their
sentencing. In 1790, it might’ve been normal to publically apply a whip to a
convicted thief. By today’s standards that’d be cruel and unusual, to say the
least.
The
way I remember the Eight Amendment is to think of myself being fed to the lions
for robbing a bank. Anytime my wife was asked what happened to her husband,
she’d say, “Oh, I thought knew. A lion 8 him.”
The
Ninth Amendment is very personal. After the authors of the Bill of Rights came
up with all the rights they could think of at the time, one guy mentioned how
terrible it would be if they left one out. That’s when they decided to add a
“catch all” amendment. It read, “The enumeration in the Constitution of certain
rights shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the
people.” -- What that means is – Just in case we forgot to mention any natural
right of the people, as long as it’s not denied somewhere else in the Constitution,
people can do it.
The
way I remember this is by thinking that any right not denied by the
Constitution is still mine, and MINE rhymes with NINE. Get it?
It’s
now time for me to end this thing by explaining the 10th and final
amendment to the Bill of Rights. – Hold down the applause, please. --After the
Ninth Amendment, it was decided that the STATES needed the same catchall
guarantee concerning their POWERS. So, they wrote the following: “The powers not delegated to the United States
by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the
states respectively, or to the people.” More mush than you can spoon, but
again, really important.
In
essence, the 10th Amendment gives states the power to do anything
that the National government can’t do. For example, the constitution said
nothing about who gets the right to vote, so each state made up its own rules.
Speaking of which, in 1890, Wyoming became the first state to allow women to vote.
It wasn’t until 1920 that the 19th Amendment was ratified, giving
women in all states the right to vote.
I
remember the 10th amendment by thinking of Tennessee, because Tennessee is a
state that was named to help us remember the Tenth Amendment. – And that class,
and anyone else who might be eavesdropping, is the end of our study on the Bill
of Rights. – And the class said? The class said? – “Ding dong the witch is
dead?” – Close enough, Meryl.
end
hayter.mark@gmail.com
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