July 21, 2019
“What are you looking 4?”
Last week, you went back in time
and listened in on one of the lectures I gave my government classes on the U.S.
Bill of Rights. Several of you marveled at how we were able to do that. Let’s
take a hint from Carl Sagan, who said, “Imagination will often carry us
to worlds that never were… but without it, we go nowhere.” That guy was, like,
really smart.
If you recall, I was only able to
complete the first three amendments. After giving the
class a pop quiz on last week’s lecture, we are now ready to cover amendments
four through ten. I don’t know if it can even be done in one class period, so
might want to buckle up.
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Okay, Amendment Four involves the
cops wanting to break into your house. Before our Independence, the Brits, who were
in charge of the colonies, would occasionally storm into somebody’s house, hoping
to find some ill gotten goods. – “Ah, here’s a box of donuts without a stamp
showing you paid a tax on it. Soldiers, grab the Dad and those two kids holding
donuts, while I confiscate the rest in the box.”
The 1790, the Congress of the U.S.
wanted to make sure that couldn’t happen in our new country, so they proposed
an amendment that guaranteed the government wouldn’t break into your house
without a judge’s warrant explaining what they were looking for, and providing
probable cause as to why they thought you were hiding something. Amendment Four
dealt with “unreasonable searches and seizures.”
One way to remember that is to
picture a cop standing at your door demanding to search your house. You say, “Stop!
Tell me what you’re looking 4?” –
Yes, Meryl, if you say, “What are you looking 7?” you’ll have the wrong Amendment. Pardon my sarcasm, but that’s
very thoughtful of you.
Let’s move along. How many of you
know what it means to “Plead the Fifth?” Meryl, put your hand down. I’ll just
go ahead and tell you. – When we were a British colony, people could be arrested
and thrown in jail until they confessed to committing a crime. After a few days
in a cell with Gold Caps Carl, you might confess to anything. Well, I’m here to
tell you that the Fifth Amendment says you can’t be forced to be a witness
against yourself.
Nor can you even be brought to trial
until a group of citizens called a “grand jury” agrees there is a reasonable
cause to “indict” you, which means, “to have you brought to trial.” The amendment
also mentions something quite vague. It’s called “due process of law.” It means
you can’t have your life, liberty, or property taken from you without a fair
trial. And, yes, the meaning of “fair trial” is also vague, and has been
changed over the course of a couple of centuries. But, we’ll dive into that
quagmire another day.
As for remembering the Fifth Amendment?
Think of someone “Pleading the Fifth.” Someone like me, who says, “I refuse to answer
on the grounds that it may tend to incriminate me.”
Let’s move on to the Sixth, which
promises you “the
right to a speedy and public trial by an impartial jury of the state and
district wherein the crime shall have been committed.” That’s a mouthful of
mush, and each morsel is very important.
Used to, the Brits would haul suspected
malcontents across the Atlantic and try them in a hoity-toity British court.
The trial would be carried out by old British men wearing white, powdered wigs.
That goes against everything American… with the exception of George Washington,
who could wear anything he wanted.
The sixth amendment can be readily
called to mind by clinging to the notion of a “speedy trial.” With that in
mind, think “Speedy Six!” – By the way, “speedy” has been interpreted to mean
from 60 to 120 days. By the way, both those numbers are divisible by six. If
your lawyer needs more time to study the case, he will be allowed a
“reasonable” extension. Point is, you can’t legally be locked up for years before
being brought to trial. – Unless you’re locked up at Guantanamo, where your
rights are flushed.
The seventh amendment is the least
thought out. It is actually way too specific. It says that, in civil cases,
(someone suing someone), – if the amount you’re suing for is $20 or more, you
have the right to a “jury” trial. Back in 1791, $20 was a lot of money. You could
buy yourself a motorcycle with that kind of money. Today, it won’t even buy you
a side-mirror for your motor cycle.
If this amendment were taken
seriously today, a spat between two neighbors could require six to 12 jurors
take off work to settle the tiff. While the right is still valid as it can be,
the Supreme Court refuses to uphold it. So far, Congress and the states have
considered it too much trouble to change the thing.
You can remember the Seventh by
thinking – “civil seven, civil seven, civil seven.” You need to say it fast, so
the words meld. If you can’t remember what a civil case is, you will still get
the question about the amendment number right; you’ll just have to make up
something about any question that asks you to explain the difference between a
criminal case and a civil case.
I still have three amendments to go,
but we’re about to get bell bit. We’ll hafta finish this next time. – Yes,
Meryl? Ah, good idea. Yes, there will be a quiz on amendments four through
seven next time. And, no, pleading the Fifth won’t help at all.
end
hayter.mark@gmail.com
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