Hayter for July 16, 2023
“Retirement is no walk
in the park”
Today, I need to
get the attention of young people. I wish to prepare you for something that’s
going to happen to you as soon as you get to my age. Right now, your mind is
telling you that retirement will be the best part of your life. It’ll be like your
childhood in that you’ll refer to it as “The Good ol’ Days”.
Well, I’m here tell you that childhood is as worrisome as all get out. Children have a knack of turning little things into earth-ending disasters.
Example: Mom to L'll Mark – “Your ball glove is either in the closet or the garage! Now, if you don’t quit bugging me, I’m gonna knock you into Thursday!” When you’ve got seven kids, there is no time to handle the small stuff. I think Mom forgot what it was like to be a kid.
Fortunately, none
of my childhood worries were worth the worry. I saw them that way because I was
young and stupid. Now I’m older, smarter, and every bit as worried abou the
little things.
If I could go back
in time and be your age, I’d handle things differently. I would’ve probably
never needed anti-depressants.
I tell you all of that to tell you this. You are in a good place in your life. So, whatever you do, DO NOT LIVE FOR RETIREMENT! You will not be stepping out of mental anguish into a peaceful existence. I’m here to tell you that when you get old, your attitude reverts to that of a child’s. You end up worrying about EVERY LITTLE THING!
Ever since I was
old enough to drive, I absolutely hated to speak to anyone at an auto parts
place. Dad must’ve had the same problem because he always sent me or Dennis to
get parts for the car. – “Okay, Mark, I
need you to go get one of these things for me. It’s a left-undercarriage balljoint for a rigid swivel capacitor.” – “Uh, sure, Daddy. The ol’
left-undercarriage thing.”
You have no idea
how many automobile questions you’re going have to answer before you can get a
left-undercarriage balljoint that swivels. Instead of driving home or calling
Dad, I always came back with something. I’d get home and Dad would say
something like, “What on earth is this? Does it look anything like what I
showed you?” – You’d think after awhile Dad would quit sending me for stuff.
When I have trouble with my car, I’ll take it to Drew at Christopher’s Auto. Sometimes I know what the problem is with the car and sometimes I don’t. No matter, I trust Christopher’s Auto in general, and Drew in particular. Occasionally, he’ll call me back to tell that the problem wasn’t as bad he thought, so it’s already fixed and ready to pick up.
When it comes to changing
the oil myself, I’d rather neuter an elk. That’s why I go one of the fast oil
changing places. Last Wednesday I took our 2008 Yaris for an oil change and an
inspection. Every time I get the oil changed, there’s a 70 percent chance that
a filter of somekind will need to be replaced. Do you know how many filters are
under the hood of a car? Nobody does.
Well, Wednesday, I chose to go to Take 5 Oil Change just across from Chicken Express on Loop 336 NW. The two guys I ended up talking with were as polite as could be. The guy changed my oil, first checked stuff under the hood; the coolant, transmission fluid, PS fluid (?) all of the filters and found the air filter in possible need of being replaced. He showed it to me and then told me that he could leave it in or replace it, or I could replace it myself, that it wasn’t that hard to do.
No oil change
person ever suggested that I might rather replace something myself. I figure
when someone tells me that, he’s not trying to scam me. The filter did look a
bit dirty, so I told him to go ahead and replace it.
Then the inspection
guy started looking over the car, beginning with my headlights. As soon as he
asked me to turn ‘em on, I immediately turned on the windshield wiper. He said,
“Oops.” – I said, “Oh, you meant my other lights.”
Bottom line,
everything went great. My oil is changed, the car is inspected, and, while the
windshield wiper incident was an embarrassment, the inspector guy made nothing
of it. Next month I have to get the 2002 Highlander inspected, and I don’t
dread the experience as much I used to.
Next month there are a billion other dreaded incidents on my calendar. I’ve got visits with my CPAP machine lady and my eye doctor. I’ve got to work on four ceiling fans and do some weed pulling that I wouldn’t even wish on Brad Meyer. I might ask him for help, but I wouldn’t wish it on him.
There are a slew of other things worrying me
but you get the point. I have no idea how I managed to do all of this stuff
when I was teaching. I somehow accepted problems better when I was your age.
My hope for you is that this article will make you less anxious to live for the Age of Retirement. It is not what you imagine it to be. I was much better off back when when Mom was dragging Dennis and me outta church for a spanking. I just didn’t know it. By the way, when Mom spanked us, we only cried so she’d stop wearing herself out. The woman did a lot of spanking, but she was never good at it.
end
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