Hayter’s article
for Nov 28, 2021
"Thanksgiving Flashbacks"
The greatest speech in the history of mankind began, “Fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth, on this continent, a new nation...” Abe Lincoln realized that “Fourscore and seven” sounded more impassioned than, “Eighty-seven years ago our fathers brought forth…”
Unfortunately, by the time most in the crowd figured out the math on “Fourscore and seven” Lincoln was probably at the part of the speech where he says “…shall not perish from the earth.” – “What? That’s it? You call that a speech?”
I went through that bit of history to tell you this. Twos-core and one year ago I wrote my first post-Thanksgiving article. It was titled “A late shoppers survival guide:” Editors have always come up with the vast majority of my titles. That’s a good thing because it takes me so long to invent a name that doesn’t confuse readers. The articles themselves can do that.
While my shopper’s survival guide did save lives, it wasn’t nearly as interesting as the one the week before about UFOs. I don’t know if you’re aware, but extraterrestrials were around here even in the ‘80s. Yet, after two-score years, we’ve still been unable to capture a believable photo of a space alien. We’ve got plenty of photos of Bigfoot, but the only one in focus shows a zipper running down his back. For some nay-sayers, that places doubt on its authenticity.
Let’s get past all of that. I was researching some of my old articles to see if I could find the first one in which I wrote about the Hayter Thanksgiving Day Football Game. The tradition had been going on for many years before the article, but we always had trouble getting press coverage. It was not until Nov 28, 1982, the year after the shopper survival piece, that we got our recognition. Our games were two-below or flag. Well it would start out as either two-below or flag football, but generally ended with tackle. In the ’82 game, the team of Big Al, Mom, Debra (my niece), Lynda, and I were against Larry, Dennis, Jill, Ray (my nephew), and Cheryl (my niece). Nothing against Mom, but that woman couldn’t run a decent pass route to save her butt. I’m sorry, Mom, but you couldn’t.
I don’t care to talk anymore about the game, because my team lost. I don’t care what I told her, but Mom couldn’t block, couldn’t catch, and ran like an old lady. I have to say, though, she was a great cook. And, off the field, she was very much loved.
After finding our first reported game, I looked for the last. Found it in 1995. At the time, none of us knew it was our last game. We didn’t even have a Christmas game after this. What happened was, I had the ball and was trying to juke Larry out of my way when my Achilles tendon snapped. After hitting the ground, I raised my foot, and all it did was hang down. Seemed odd to me. I went into a little more detail back in the ’95 piece. I must tell you, though, to this day I am still upset that they continued the game without me. The brothers helped me into the car and then went back to the game. And, I was the quarterback of my team! How do you even have a game after your star player is out? Jill probably took over for me. That girl could play. She obviously got more of Dad’s genes than Mom’s.
Kay drove me to the emergency room in The Woodlands, and the person on duty told me to stay off my foot. He was a genius! Did I mention that my foot was just dangling? Early the next week, a real Doc reattached the tendon with a few nails. I seldom get details from doctors. The next year, there was no football because Dennis had some cardio difficulty, and Larry had an ailment. I don’t remember what. Regardless, we had no Thanksgiving or Christmas games in ’96. And, as mentioned, we haven’t played since. Oh, we’ve tossed the football around, but never got to tackle mom or anyone else again. During the last 10 years of her life, Elsie Hayter never got tackled. That’s just sad.
Now for the weird part. That Achilles tendon incident happened one score and six years ago practically to the day, and tomorrow I have to go see a physical therapist because my Achilles tendon is acting up. The thing gives me extreme pain anytime I lean forward. I had an MRI taken a couple of weeks ago, and the results showed physical therapy might keep my toes from pointing to the floor.
The big problem for me is that if therapy fails, I will lose the ability to beat Brad at racquetball. The time my hip started giving me trouble, that guy did not let up a bit. I’m hobbling around, while he smashes the ball from one side of the court to the other. And, he’d say cruel stuff like, “By the way, you know there is no rule against you using that thing in your hand to hit the ball, don’t you?” Bradford Meyers? Not a guy to lose to.
I’ll just have to see how physical therapy works out. If I fail to mention racquetball in 2022, you’ll know it didn’t go well. -- Regardless, search for enjoyable moments during your Christmas shopping. There may not be many, but they’re there, all right.
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