Hayter article for November 14, 2021

“Weird Stuff”

You may have noticed that I’m attracted to weird stuff. – “Unusual behavior.” “The seldom seen.” “The difficult to explain.” And, of course, “that which cannot be explained”. I gravitate toward every one of those things.

Regrettably, when things get weird, I seldom have a pen to write with, paper to write on, or a cellphone to take photos of. Which introduces my first weird finding. That first sentence in this paragraph happens to contain a collection of four thoughts each of which ends in a preposition. The outlawing of sentences ending with a preposition was enforced by each English teacher I ever had. While I have often attempted to abide by grammatical laws, I no longer give two hoots about the one involving the use of a preposition.

The birth of the prepositional law dates back to 1672 when literary critic, John Dryden, criticized the long-deceased playwright, Ben Jonson, for ending his sentences with prepositions. Dryden must’ve been well respected because the prepositional ending to sentences took root as a law of English writing and speech. Finally, the Merriam-Webster dictionary informs us that there never was anything wrong with sentences that end with prepositions. They may sound odd to many teachers of whom I was one. Yet, I am proud to say that I never corrected prepositional endings while grading essays. So my friends and editors please heed Webster.

That factoid is an example of weirdness that interests me. As does a few of these oddities. I shall begin with the 64 South African penguins who were murdered by honey bees. My immediate reaction was, “You mean there are penguins in South Africa?” The tip of Africa is noted for its treacherous seas. What is called the Cape of Good Hope, was originally named the Cape of Storms.

Had the original name stuck, I doubt the Penguins would have gone to such lengths to settle in the area. I seriously doubt the honeybees would be there unless farmers raised them. Begging the question, how can there be any farming at the Southern Tip of Africa? It makes me feel like an idiot that I actually taught geography once and never mentioned honey bees at the tip of Africa. Weird.

Almost as weird as the news in last Thursday’s Courier. Seems Montgomery County is one of a few Texas counties due to lose its quarterly federal funding for rent relief. The money was to be dispersed among those who can’t afford their rent and the landlords who need to have the rent to pay for the houses. The article by Rebecca Schuetz refers to the Emergency Rental Assistant Program that the Federal Government established last January. At that time Montgomery County was allotted $18.6 million for rental relief. As of Sept. 30, the county had succeeded in dispersing two percent of its funds. Any nu-distributed money will have to go back to the Federal Government by Nov 15. That’s, like, tomorrow.  

Keep in mind that the entire program was paid by every federal taxpayer in the country. Texas had no such program, so it was a godsend to us. Now, about 98 percent of our money will be distributed among those counties that are utilizing their funding. At least people from other counties will benefit from the program. I have every confidence that this week a county official will address the situation and announce a program to better use federal funding. It would be weird if that didn’t happen.

Almost as weird as the Moon’s wobble. Hey, I was as surprised as you. The wobble of a large rotating object in space isn’t really a wobble. That’s just what astronomers call it. Let me say right here, that I know what a wobble is. I’ve even been known to have a wobble, yet mine was in no way what the astronomers consider a wobble. The moon’s wobble has to do with its revolution around the earth. The moon never takes the exact same path. While it should continue to revolve around the earth, some paths can be damaging to us. About every 20 years or so, the path of the moon gets closer to the earth than usual. Since its path is oblong, I assume that means that for half the day it will be closer and for the other half of the day it will be further away. I would tell you why that is if I had even the smidgen of a clue. 

Well, as you may know, our ocean tides are created by the gravitational pull from both the sun and moon. About 10 years from now, both the sun and moon will be in a position that will cause a more powerful gravitational pull. That’s what happens during the eclipse of the sun. However, on this occasion, the tides will be exceptionally high. True, this happens every 20 years or so, however, our oceans have risen a bit over the last 20 years and should continue to do so for another 10, as the ice caps continue to melt. This will bring about an increase in the increase in areas that get flooded, and the heights of the floodwaters. 

Unless something unhealthful happens to me, I should be able to witness the upcoming experience. Twenty years later, I likely won’t be that involved in the occurrence. I imagine insurance companies have already been adjusting their policies accordingly. A wise move.

And, perhaps the Texas Governor and Legislature will prepare some kind of program for the approaching floods. – That was a joke. I only touched on politics because of my glee over the truth that came out about prepositions ending a sentence. It is a happening that some teachers will refuse to put up with. And, that’s something I’m sure of.

 

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