Dance and Football evolution

 

 

Hayter article for October 31, 2021

“Evolution of Dance and Football.” 

            Today, I thought we’d talk about the evolution of dance. And, maybe football. One of those is near and dear to my heart. The other one is getting there.

            Other than Chuck Berry’s invention of “the twist”, the only dance I ever learned was the square. “Square” is the only dance that needs to be labeled as such. If you ever asked someone to Twist Dance with you, they likely won’t. The only time I ever square danced was is elementary school during music class. During a 55-minute class I have no idea how Mrs. Page managed to teach a bunch knot heads how to square-dance. 

At first, I declined to participate based on religion. The preacher was against it. I wasn’t sure why, but the preacher sounded as If he knew what he was talking about. I once asked Mom if it was okay if I square-danced, but she wouldn’t give me a direct answer. She said, “Well, I don’t know. How do you feel about it? – I wanted to say “Cry-ma-knee”, Mother! You know me! I don’t know anything about anything!”

            Eventually, I learned how to promenade and allemande both left and right. I enjoyed it, too. However, that’s where my dancing days ended. My senior year, I went to the banquet instead of the prom. I refused to take a girl to the prom when all I could do is square-dance. Not only couldn't dance, but I didn’t even enjoy watching others dance. Susan, my older sister, was big into watching American Bandstand. Occasionally, she would grab one end of a dishtowel, give me one end, and make me dance with her. She was afraid that if I touched her, I might give her cooties.

I learned nothing from dancing with my big sister. She’d have me in tears. That was years ago, but now? Now, I’ve found some dancing on YouTube that looks fun as all get out. Unless you’re more of a dweeb than I am, you’re aware that there is a song out called “Shut-up and Dance with Me.” Video editors have taken dance scenes from old movies and timed their dance routines to the tune of Shut up and Dance.” They’ve done the same thing with “Uptown Funk”, “Footloose” and “Sink the Bismarck”. – Don’t worry, they’ll get around to a Johnny Horton.

            All of the dancing I missed growing up, I can now watch as it is performed to modern music. It’s the same dance steps, with much better music. So, I guess not so much the dancing that’s changed. It’s the fact they were dancing to the wrong music. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00ezoTnw1HM

Of course, that rationale does not apply to football. Football has evolved so much since the days of Johnny Unitas. Unitas had a uniform that looked a lot like the one I wore in high school. We both wore knee, thigh, and hip pads. High school players don’t even wear hip pads today. They looked and felt terrible. The contraptions supposedly protected both hips and tailbone. You can just imagine how it felt and looked to wear a thick, wide belt that covered your hips and rear-end. During my entire football career, I wore high-topped football boots, with metal cleats, just like Johnny Unitas. Today’s players seem to have no protection for their knees, thighs, or hips. Oh, and tailbones. Those things are just out there.

And, speaking of the football itself, in junior high we played with a ball the size of an elongated basketball. There was no way a kid could grip it. To throw the thing, you had to balance it in your hand and sling it. But, forget the uniforms and blimp-sized footballs. Today, things have changed the game for the better. At least for the viewer. When Johnny Unitas was quarterbacking, the TV never showed where the line of scrimmage was and how much further they needed to go to make a first down. Today, there is are magic lines on the screen that show everything.

Instant replay? In my day if you wanted to see a replay, you’d have to turn the TV on to the 6:00 News the next day and watch the highlights during the sports broadcast. Referees never reversed their calls. Today, the referee gets in contact with a group in New York that has six different views of each play. “Oops, in frame five it shows that when he hit the ground, his hands weren’t gripping the ball. So we suggest you change the call to incomplete.” That’s certainly revolutionized the game.

Those changes are all important. However, the one thing that is flabbergasting to me is how good the receivers and defensive backs are. Defensive backs can have a guy covered every which way but loose, but the quarterback will still place the ball in the right spot, and the receiver will still manage to catch it. I know the receivers and defenders have some kind of sticky chemical sprayed on their hands, or velcroed gloves, but it’s still miraculous what they can do. And, quarterbacks”. They don’t care where the receiver is. They throw where he’s going to be.  I realize that Johnny Unitas also threw the ball where the receiver was supposed to end up, but never as often as it happens today.

The evolution in professional and college football is such a big plus for the fans. The players? Even with the new rules on blocking and tackling, and the state of the newest helmets, it is one dangerous sport. The short time that I played, I got my bell rung numerous times. Back then you could lower your head and tackle with your helmet. I never got knocked out, but I kept getting hot spots on my head, and I once forgot where I was. But, my tailbone? That thing is in as good a shape as when the doctor slapped it at birth.

And my dancing? I choose to shut-up, because I can’t dance. I can only manage the Twist dance, and that’s not even a dance.

 

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