Christmas on Mainstreet

Hayter article for December 1, 2019

“Christmas on Main Street”

            Did you know that the Conroe Family YMCA was closed last week? I didn’t either. Not until Brad Meyer told me. When I arrived at the Y, he was standing at the top of the steps looking really verklempt.

That’s what I call Bradly’s normal look. “Verklempt.” I don’t know what it means, but Bradford occasionally uses it in conversation. I like the sound of it. Verklempt. It paints a picture. A picture of Brad’s demeanor.

If you didn’t know Brad, you might think he was a sourpuss. However, once you get to know him, you’ll realize that he really is a sourpuss. For whatever reason, though, we hit it off well. I can see beneath his verklemptness.

As I was climbing the steps twirling my racquet, the Bradman said “What are you doing? You’re not playing racquetball.” I assured him that my shoulder was much better. It usually pops when I move it, but that’s nothing. Bradford told me that it didn’t matter how I was feeling, I still couldn’t play racquetball because the courts were closed.

See how he works? Since we went to all the trouble to get there, Brad suggested we lift weights or mount one of the complicated exercise machines. I told him I couldn’t because of my shoulder. I don’t think he really wanted to exercise, or he would’ve put up a fuss.

Fortunately, we decided to go down to the gym and see if anyone was playing pickleball. We’ve never played. Never seen it played. The name itself reeks of machismo. When we opened the door to the gym we saw a guy sitting on top of one of those gigantic Zamboni machines, only, instead of smoothing ice, this one was sanding the gym floor. Fascinating! Hopefully, they got a smaller one for the racquetball court.  

When I noticed Brad eyeing one of the treadmills, I suggested that I call Joe Kolb, my friend and the illustrator of my Christmas book. I was supposed to deliver 10 books to Joe so he could give them out as gifts for his family. Doesn’t that sound like an excellent idea? No, really. Doesn’t it?

 Anyway, Brad and I left the Y and met Kolb at “Bean Punk Coffee” located on the east side of the square in downtown Conroe. When we arrived at the coffee shop, Bradford informed me that he didn’t bring any money. Turns out, I had left my wallet in my car, which was parked beside the Corner Pub. Kolb said he’d like to help us out, but he only had enough money to get himself a café mocha whatever drink.

When I returned with my wallet, Kolb was being served his large coffee mocha thing, I told the girl that I wanted the same. Told her to get Brad a small cup of coffee. Black. We nursed our drinks at a table by the window.

I have heard most of Joe’s stories but I refuse to tell him because I’m afraid he’ll ask me how each of ‘em ends. My mind tends to wander during a long story. Or a bad short one. Kolb’s are pretty good, though. Just a bit detailed.  I did tell Kolb that Brad was once a professional boxing referee. Brad jumped at the opportunity to tell one of his boxing stories. Oddly enough, it was one I hadn’t heard.

Did you know that Referee Brad Meyer once ended a fight 2 minutes and 52 seconds into the first round? The challenger was leaning with his back against the ropes with his gloves covering his face. The champ was viciously pounding the guy right on his gloves. The challenger wasn’t putting up a fight… at least not until Brad stopped the fight. At that point, the losing boxer, his manager, and the crowd went nuts. The boxer kept screaming “I rope a dope! I rope a dope!” It was too late. The fight had been called, and Bradly ended up getting hammered in the sports section of a big Floriday newspaper.

Partway into one of Kolb’s stories, Brad stood up and said he had to get home. I told Kolb not to take it personally, that Brad was verklempt. Kolb said, “You mean he was overcome with emotion? I didn’t see that at all.” I lied and told him that Brad can cry at the drop of a cat.

On the way to our cars, I told Brad that Tuesday, December 3, is Conroe’s Christmas on Main Street event. At 6:30 p.m. they’ll have the lighting of the Christmas tree. At 7:00 there will be fun stuff going on downtown at the square. There will be carolers, Santa and some elves, the Grinch, a firepit and S’mores. You can visit the shops and take care of some of your Christmas shopping. The kiddos can bounce around on one of those inflatable thingers and get a picture with  Santa… just not in the bounce house.

I asked Brad to show up at the Branding Iron Custom Goods on 210 N. Main next to the Lonestar Community Radio Station. Keith Kreuger and His mom, Debbie invited me to sell my “Christmas Storybook Stories” book at the Branding Iron.

I asked Brad to say something like, “Wow! Mark, your book is selling for only $10 and that includes the tax! What great Christmas gifts they will make! I need you to write something nice in about eight of em. I’ll pick ‘em up after I go get some s’mores.” 

Bradly didn’t say anything about coming to the event. Regardless, it will be an event that will put you right in the Christmas spirit. Maybe Joe Kolb will show up and tell some of his stories. If not, I’ll tell you some of his stories. -- Kay and I will see you there. Brad Meyer? Who knows? 

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To purchase or gift Mark’s new Christmas book, go to Amazon.com and key in “Mark Hayter Christmas Storybook Story” Or you can see him downtown Conroe during the Christmas on Main Street Festival.--  hayter.mark@gmail.com