Sunday, July 9, 2023

Superman's Purpose

 

Hayter for July 9, 2023

“The American Way”

The introduction to the original Superman TV series began with the announcement about Superman’s speed, strength, ability to jump over buildings, yadda, yadda… It ends with the announcement that Superman’s mission on this planet is to fight for “truth, justice, and the American way!

The series was sappy as all get out, and I really enjoyed it. As proof, I still remember the characters and can recite the intro. “Faster than a speeding bullet. More powerful than a locomotive.” I thought the “Able to leap tall buildings” example was dumb because Superman flew. The Man of Steel wasn’t noted for his ability to jump. Yeah, kids had to put up with a lot of moronic comments back then. 

The one thing about Superman that I never doubted was his purpose in life. He was here to fight for truth, justice, and the American way.

It’s hard to pull the wool over a kid’s eyes. Once a child falls for something that Dad or the Superman announcer told them, it’s pretty much in stone. As we aged, a lot of what we used to believe turned into sand. Over the years, I’ve noticed a few things that Dad told me that were exaggerations, and, in some cases, just wrong. I loved Dad dearly and am anxious to see him again somewhere on the far side of now.

 Over the years, I’ve discovered so many things that have caused me to seriously doubt the value of Superman’s goals. I think we’ve both noticed that in this nation we don’t all agree on what truth and justice are. One thing I learned less in school, but a lot in life is that since before the time of Superman, the American way was geared toward favoring the white, male, heterosexual. Some 70 years later, the notion is still defended by almost half of all white, male, heterosexuals.

 While I’m naïve as all get out, fortunately, I’m not stupid enough to introduce politics to the remainder of this article. However, I am going to introduce something that really stinks. Obviously, I‘m referring to garbage. – Talk about a clumsy segway!

 After careful research I have found that 90 percent of the garbage collected by trucks with decals that read “Recyclable” ends up in either the dump or the ocean. I knew that plastic grocery bags were never recycled. To sort and recycle plastic bags would cost a fortune. Part of the cost would involve covering up the pollution caused by the destruction of the bags during the recycling process.

 But forget plastic bags… if you dare. The powers that be, have seen fit to place numbers from 1 to 5 on the bottom of plastic bottles, containers, toys, and practically all of their plastic items. The numbers help the public and the trash collectors to recognize what item goes in which bin. Some of the numbers are meant to represent plastic that is more readily salvageable. Regardless of the number on the plastic receptacle, none of them are worth the time and trouble and cost of recycling. Add to that the realization that after plastic has been recycled once, it becomes more toxic. How would we know which plastic bottles have been recycled more than once?

 I had no idea that there are more than a thousand types of plastics. Nor did I realize that none of them can be recycled together. So, we’re to believe that our recyclable garbage is tossed into a truck that is labeled with a recyclable insignia and taken to a big factory where the dozens of workers sort out which plastic goes where. The cost of that is not feasible. Perhaps it will be worth it in time. Just not in my time.

 My understanding, which is way down there, is that City, County, and State officials have made agreements with certain corporations to promote the idea of recycling as a way to make us proud for helping the environment. I occasionally run across an article about someone who recycles 80 percent of their garbage. That’s something to be proud of, just not overall giddy about.

 From what I read, plastic is made from cellulose, coal, natural gas, salt, and crude oil. Most of you know that cellulose is a polysaccharide/carbohydrate that has minimal environmental, health, and safety risks. That’s news to me, but then, so is the thought that sharks don’t enjoy eating humans.  

 Obviously, plastic is not the only recyclable. Let’s see, there’s paper, metals, rubber, glass… uh, did I mention metals? I didn’t get around to researching those items. I would imagine that metal would be the most economically feasible commodity to recycle.

 After all of this, you may feel a need to kick and scream. I’m not into that, but I do hope against hope that all of the photos and published materials I saw during my research were fabricated by the few companies that produce our paper shopping bags. I don’t know where the grocery stores hide those bags, but I’m to understand that they’ve got ‘em. Let’s face it, paper bag making companies haven’t been making any money for years.

 I realize this will shock none of you, but I have no solution for our garbage problem. Apparently, no one does. Our only option is to kick and scream for being lied to for the last four decades. It won’t do any good, but it is by far something we’re good at -- kicking and screaming. We’ll never come up with a solution that will pacify most of us.

 Let’s face it, we may not all agree on what qualifies something as being the American Way. But we will kick and scream for what we believe it to be. And right now, it happens to be a reluctance to address our mounting garbage problem. Eventually it’s going to reach tall buildings in a single bound.   

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hayter.mark@gmail.com

Adam naming the animals

 

 

 

Hayter for June 23, 2023

A story about Adam naming all the animals”

          I’ve often been told that I’m a person of wonder. Mom was the first to catch onto that. From childhood, she often asked me, “Why did you do that?” The arrangement of those five words caused me to think, “That’s interesting. ‘Why  DID I do that?’” 

          From that point on, I’ve been a wondering dunderhead. I have no memory of ever being called “dunderhead” but I’ve been called crazy quite a bit. I used to actually think I was crazy until I saw a movie where a guy said, “If you think you’re crazy, that’s an indication that you’re not.” One of those Catch-22 things. That’s been helpful as all get out.

          Last week Kay and I were folding clothes. I grabbed a pile of folded stuff and was going to take them to the bedroom, when Kay, touched the stack and said, “Until you get to your underwear, everything else is mine.”

          I immediately told Kay, “Since the advent of mankind, I wonder if that sentence has ever been used before.” Kay immediately answered, “It has. If I recall it’s been said 18 times.” And that’s one of many reasons I stay with this woman.

          That was one of my more recent wonders. The one that has haunted me the longest came from one of my Sunday School teachers. Mrs. Patterson was telling us how the different animal species got their names.

The answer is found in Genesis 2:19. -- “And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.” That’s from the King James Version of the Bible, which was the only one the preacher would let into the building back then.

          That one verse made good sense to the teacher, but I was bumfuzzled. I raised my hand. “Mrs. Patterson, I don’t get that? Adam was the only person on the planet at the time, yet he was told to name the animals. – Mrs. P said, “Mark if God wanted us to know more, He would’ve told us. Our job is to accept it.”

While I accepted the verse itself, I was just curious as to the reasoning. I decided to just stick the vague story into the “wonder section” of my brain. Turns out, the story came to the forefront of my brain right after hearing Kay’s comment about my underwear. Yes, it was the folded clothes story that made me realize that now was a good time to address one of my wonders. – Tighten your belts.

In the beginning, Adam was the only person on the planet. So, God said, “Okay, Adam, I’m going to make some animals out of dirt, and I want you to name ‘em.” – The first question that came to Adam’s mind was, “Super! Uh, Sir, what is an animal?”

          God said “Be patient. After I make one you’ll know .” Then God grabbed some dirt and made it alive. God said, “Adam, this is an animal. Now, give it a name.”  

          Adam said, “Uh, I’m going with “Everett”.” At that moment there was the sound of thunder caused by God slapping His head. “No, that’s dumb. This is only one type of thousands of animals. What are you going to call its species?

          Adam said, “Oh, my bad. All right, the  name ‘Kangaroo’ just came to mind.”

God said, “This thing has short arms, big feet, a sack under its belly, a tail that it leans back on, and it hasn’t stopped hopping since I made it. And, you’re gonna call it a Kangaroo? Where did that even come from?”

Adam said, “Okay, how about, “Big Tailed  Hopper”? – God said, “No, that’s even worse. We’ll stick with Kangaroo. So,  you might need to jot this down because there will be thousands of different animals coming out of the dirt.

          Adam forces himself to say,  “Please don’t get mad at me, Sir, but, uh, what exactly does that mean – ‘Jot it down’?”

          Eventually, all of the animals have been created, and God tells Adam to pick one of ‘em to be his helper. Adam said, “A helper? I don’t know what that is, but I’m going grab my list and find something. – Ah! I’m going with the eagle. A big flying thing that can pick fruit for me and fly high and keep me from getting lost.”

          God doesn’t yell at Adam, He just tells Him that he’s way off the mark. That a big bird wouldn’t make a good helper. So, He puts Adam to sleep, yanks out one of his ribs and makes him a helper.”

          Adam eventually wakes and sees Eve. Of course he doesn’t know an Eve from an elk. God went ahead and named the helper “Woman”. Adam says, “Ooookay. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with this, but I’ll think of something.”

          God says, “I’m sure you will. Now, I’m going to take you both to see a special tree, and you’re going to need to pay careful attention to it. So, follow me.”

          Eve said, “Special Tree? What is that?

What you just read was my attempt at humor. I read a vague passage of scripture and offered up a comical interpretation. Not too unlike other Christians who, over the years have invented interpretations for vaguely explained scriptures. When I came up with this story, I wasn’t intending to make a point. I just had a Bob Newhart moment.

          That being said, I’ve asked God not to let anyone from my old church read this week’s article. Because if they do, unlike James Taylor, I will literally see fire and rain.

 

hayter.mark@gmail.com                         end