Questionaire

 

Hayter’s article for February 20, 2022  

“If you had it to do over”

          Do any of you remember Kay suggesting that this week’s article be about puppies and kittens? I refused to consider such a time-waster until the 1000s, maybe millions of readers chimed in. -- “Listen to Kay!”, “We want puppies and kittens!” Sherry Sadler was so much kinder than others. She simply wrote that she was looking forward to the article on puppies and kittens.   

          I received no response from a single man. Or married one, for that matter. Having no mental record of me ever writing about puppies and kittens, I decided to give it shot. So, I researched the topic for six minutes, and found nothing other than staged pictures of kittens and puppies affectionately enjoying each other’s attention. Each photo was titled. “Kittens and puppies like taking naps together.” They “keep secrets”, They “play pretend-fight”, “watch the same TV shows”, “share their toys…”

          At that point, I concluded that there is no reliable information about a puppy giving a hoot about a kitten, or vice versa.  So, I stopped taking footnotes and started rifling through the pile of papers on my desktop for today’s topic. The fifth note that caught my eye was a request from 1989. I have trouble filing papers. I have no trouble tossing an aged banana, but I can’t throw away papers until I revisit them. I seldom have time or the inclination to revisit.

This particular notice was a request from the editor of “Our Family Newsletter”.  Jill sent each family member a questionnaire to complete and return within a couple of weeks. I apparently never got around to completing mine. The fact that the form is still on my desk shows that I fully intended to. I’m sure those family members who filled out the questionnaire had their responses printed up in a later issue of the Newsletter. I may try to find that publication later. As is, I’ve already done too much research with the kittens and puppies. 

While it’s 33 years too late for me to fill out this thing, I have come up with an idea for you to develop a family tradition whereby the family members jot down their answers to a questionnaire every couple of years or so, to see how much their ideas have changed. To kick your project off, I’m going to give you a few of Jill’s questions. Here goes. 

“What do you want to be when you finally grow up?” – That was a stab from Jill.  For you guys your question might be “What was it I should’ve done with my life?” When I asked Kay this question, she said, “I would be a ballerina.” I remember her telling me that about three decades back. I could’ve said, “Hey, it’s never too late!” But, that’s stupid. I think my response was “Interesting”. 

I’ve seen a few movies and documentaries on ballerinas and ballerinoes. Those people go through the most gruesome training I have ever witnessed, and I’ve watched documentaries on Navy Seals. And, they do it for what? To get to jump and twirl on your tiptoes in front of a lot of people who can afford to enjoy stuff like that. And do you know what it’s doing to their toes? I’d be afraid to sleep with Kay if she had toes like that. – Oh, and for both of my ballerina fans, I’m joking. I admire the daylights out of people who enjoy that kind of stuff. 

Today, Kay wishes she were a gemologist. When I asked her how many years in medical school it would take her to get a degree, she said, “Look it up. Goober.” More research! I discovered that a gemologist is an expert in gems. You know diamonds, sapphires, and possibly sand dollars. Kay would be good at that. However, I think it was more of a hint to me. I fear that last week she hoped for more than just a Valentine. – Beg pardon? Oh, me?” I wish I would’ve put more emphasis on acting. I should be more pleased that I didn’t, because teaching was more fulfilling. Plus, Strother Martin got all of the parts I wanted.  

Another of Jill’s questions was “If you were a million, zillionaire, name three things you would buy.” Kay said she would hire a maid service, lawn service, and home decoration service. I don’t think the girl fully grasps the value of a million, zillion dollars. All I can come up with now, is to spend a third of it researching the relationship between puppies and kittens. It wouldn’t solve many of the world’s problems, but it would make a lot of people happy.   

What animal would you be if you had to be one? Kay would be a peregrine falcon. She even spelled the name right. She wants to be the fastest creature on the planet; to fall toward the earth at a speed of 240 mph. If you’ve researched, the peregrine falcons are the world's most common birds of prey. Those bubbas live on all continents except Antarctica. And, that’s only because they don’t see Antarctica as a continent.  Me? I want to be one of Santa’s reindeer. Thumper. No, that’s a rabbit. One of the other ones.   

“Moving right along – “Who is your all-time favorite actor and actress, living or otherwise?” Kay went with Emma Stone and Robert Duvall. They dated once, I believe? I’m going with Jean Arthur and Morgan Freeman. I change my mind on stuff like that all the time.   

And, finally, if you lived in another country which one would you like it to be? Kay’s going to Scotland. I’m voting for Canada, but only if they can keep their truck drivers from shutting down the highways, simply because they don’t want to be told to wear a mask. I assume the logic is, “First it’s the mask! Then it’s, what? A ballerina outfit?”

 

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hayter.mark@gmail.com

2040 nice innovations

 

Hayter’s article for February 13, 2022

“A happier look at 2040”

            Last week, there were a few of you who stuck with me like grim death as I dragged your rears through the horrible predictions for 2040. If you haven’t read the article, don’t. I’m still depressed with my findings.

The research I collected mostly dealt with the earth’s environmental and monetary woes that await those living in 2040. To summarize my findings, there will be a global collapse of society in 2040 that will set us back a century. Pollution levels will never be improved, and resources necessary for progress will not be available. Before ending the piece, I promised to let you in on the good things that others have predicted for 2040.

From what I’ve discovered, it is safe to place your bets on the future of things such as health care, innovations in autos, airplanes, drones, rocketry, environment cleaning devices/ Super 3-D printers, artificial intelligence, and the like. How could anyone anticipate such a thing? Moore’s Law.  In 1965, Gordon E. Moore, co-founder of Intel, studied the advancement of technology from the turn of the century to the ‘60s and found, to his satisfaction, that technology doubles each year. Scientists have recently found Moore’s Law to be accurate up to this point. Of course, so much stuff has been secretly invented since 2020 that, unbeknownst to us, technology may be increasing a little more than double. 

That aside, in 2020 there were twice as many innovations as in 2019. At the end of 2021, we had four times more innovations than in 2019. In 2022 technology will likely grow 16 times greater than that of 2019. And, get this, at the end of this year, we’ll be 32 times smarter than we were in 2019. Carry out the calculations and you’ll find that our technology will be 67,914,560 times more advanced than it was in 2019… assuming that the global society hasn’t collapsed. 

In the area of health, the technology of 3-D printing will be responsible for the innovation of the human heart, viable for transplanting into a human. A cure for Alzheimer's should be available. Another healthy innovation will be discovered in the area of toilets. Any time spent on or in front of your toilet will result in a health checkup.  The toilet will have a computer that examines your tinkle or poo and reports its findings. -- “Mr. Hayter, your blood pressure is too high. And, you’ve gotta quit eating those figs! I’m sending this info to your doctor. So be ready, little mister.” --  I’m assuming that the toilet talks to the occupant.

In 2040, the world’s democracies will have banded together for the purpose of sharing technological research.  The cooperation will be brought on by economical issues and technological thievery by China and Russia. With fewer stolen secrets, both the Chinese and Russians will take a hit, causing totalitarian governments, except for North Korea, to fizzle out, and democracies to flourish. Interesting. At the rate things are going, I’m not sure the U.S. will be a democracy in 2040.

At the moment, computers are not as smart as man. They’re sharper than this man, but are totally reliant on humans for direction. Not this human. Machines can only find answers by using the rules of a program created by a human. However, by 2040, computer software and hardware will be faster than all get-out. A car designer may create software that reads “Make the vehicle run longer on less fuel.” In a matter of seconds, the computer will find all that can be known about the automobile and communicate with other computers to figure out ideas that scientists and engineers may have never considered. 

This process is known as Artificial Intelligence (AI). That means a computer will be able to, gather all the information available from other computers, tweak the data, and then come up with a plan for a vehicle that surpasses anything considered by man.  

Most scholars who study such stuff, don’t see Super AI machines being around in 2040. While it’s likely computers will be smarter than us by then, it’s unlikely they’ll have Super Artificial Intelligence. You know, the kind that could make humans want to marry a robot. Hey, I’ve seen the movies. 

Some are wisely afraid, that if computers begin to write their own programs, they may refuse to accept the rules established by their creators. The late Stephen Hawking wrote, “Super-intelligence is the last invention of man, and the last challenge mankind will ever have.” 

Super-intelligence is predicted to be present in 2060. I would think it could be earlier than that, considering that by 2060 the intelligence of computers will be a gazillion, billion, and 92 times better than in 2019. With that much intelligence AI robots will be mining in space for metals that we don’t have on earth.

I read about a computer program developed in China that allows users to have “Chat Bots” with a computer that sounds like, well whatever you wish them to sound like. Before you start talking to the computer, you have to answer a few multiple-choice questions about yourself. Health, age, gender, likes, dislikes, favorite movies, reading material, religion… Once the interview is over, you’re free to converse with a computer program. It’s advertised as being great for helping the depressed. 

One thing they’ve discovered about the mind of today’s computer has no sense of empathy for humans. They’ll probably have that cleared up by 2040.

That’s it! Kay suggests that next week I write about something cuddly, like puppies and kittens. Somewhere between what I just wrote and what Kay suggested I write is a good topic. I’ll flush it out. Speaking of which, I’m rather pleased that I won’t be around to experience the toilet examination.

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hayter.mark@gmail.com