Okay, I need you to go get your calendar. Do it quick, or I might forget what I sent you for. Oh, and a pen. Get a pen!
Uh, no, that’s a 2010 calendar, but we’re not waiting. First off, a qualifier. -- I don’t generally promote stuff. You know that. Just doesn’t seem prudent, proper or lucrative. Unless I’m directly involved or paid up front, I don’t promote.
I refuse to make an announcement about your wedding, graduation, invention, business venture, parole… whatever. You didn’t hear it from me. I’ve got some standards, and they’re up there. Way up there. A little lower than eye-level.
Having said that – You simply can’t miss the cutest event in the history of eventdom. It happens at about 6 p.m. on April 17 at the Montgomery Country Fairgrounds. It’s in one of the big metal buildings on the north side.
So, write the time and place in the appropriate square on your calendar and then write in “Pet Parade!” Include the exclamation point. Hey, I don’t own a pet, don’t want a pet, seldom pet pets, but I’ll be there. In fact, I’m going to emcee the thing.
Not only that, but Kay will be there! Kay has a degree from the Caesar Milan School of Psst! She’s good. I’m in the process of persuading her to join me on stage. I told her somebody might bring a penguin. Kay loves penguins. If you were to bring a penguin – or a reasonable facsimile – I’m fairly certain it would win in “The Miscellaneous Pet Division.”
I’m fairly sure of that because my kid brother, Big Al, is one of the judges. I couldn’t sway his vote, but Kay can. He likes Kay.
By the way, when you show up at the event be sure to hug Lisa Hightower and her noble assistant Lesa West. They’ll be the ones working their buns off getting everything to run smoothly. And, apologizing for me. There would be no Pet Parade without Lisa and Lesa.
And, what do they get for their effort? Must be warm fuzzies, ‘cause there is no money involved. It doesn’t cost a thing to enter a pet. Just show up at 5:00 and sign up. There are three categories. Small Dog, Big Dog, and Miscellaneous. Miscellaneous can be a fish, turtle, rabbit… maybe even a cat. A kitten would be better.
Of course, nothing I’ve said so far fully describes the “cute” aspect of the event. What makes the Pet Parade so fun is the fact that you have to be eight years old or younger to register a pet. And, in order to finish at or near the top, it would be to the child’s advantage to be in costume. Don’t have to be, but it’s so neat if they are.
For example, last year there was a Dorothy with a Toto type dog. Rottweiler I think. Also there was a Miss Muffet with a dog made up to look like a big spider. For a minute I thought it belonged in the Miscellaneous Pet category. I couldn’t tell the real legs from the fake ones. – I forgot to tell you. I emceed the event last year. And, they asked me back! That seldom happens.
Oh, and this is very important. Each dog must have proof of rabies vaccine, and any horse must be accompanied by proof of “Negative Coggins.” If you have no idea what that means, you’re like me and don’t own a horse.
One other thing. Please note that this is not a professional, certified, worth-suing-over Pet Show. It’s just a fun time. Each child will be asked to escort his or her pet across the stage (with parental assistance as needed.) I will attempt to get the kids to talk about their pets. Give them a chance to impress the judges. The children are a big part of what the judges are observing. Give Big Al a wink and you’ll score some serious points.
If your child needs to pad his resume, borrow the neighbor’s goat and enter the thing. If you’re childless but have a duck that needs some attention, borrow the neighbor’s kid and sign ‘em both up.
Okay, you’ve got a week or so to give this some thought. Pet or no, be sure to show up and enjoy the spectacle that is “Pet Parade.” Oh, and be on the lookout for a penguin. You won’t have to dress it or your child up to win. The thing will be a shoo-in.
To see Mark and Brad's review of Conroe Lunchbox, click on pic.
You can reach Mark at firstname.lastname@example.org