Sunday, June 9, 2013

What's the deal with June Weddings?

“You call that a marriage? This is a marriage!"

November 26, 1971 -- Kay is the one on the right.

     Hundreds of articles about weddings will be appearing in newspapers across the country for the next few weeks. Maybe millions of articles. That’s because we’re now in the month of June, the wedding month. – Excuse me a second, I feel a swoon coming on.

    If you’ll give me a second to look through my Internet research, I’ll tell you why so many couples find it necessary to get married in June. Let’s see here.

One writer explains that most men propose around Christmas or New Years and it takes them at least six months to pay off the engagement ring. In such case, the prospective groom obviously has no credit, and the bride needs to consider a prenup.

A few other sites mentioned June as being a month of pleasant weather… at least in non-Texas locales. Somebody else mentioned that, in June, flowers are so much cheaper. I’m not sure that’s a viable excuse. From the looks of some of the weddings out there, cost seems not so much a consideration.

No, the most plausible reason I’ve come across for June weddings has to do with the month being named after the Roman Goddess of Love. That’d be Horatia Fluvius. I mean Juno. I always get those two mixed up.

Apparently, from way back when, couples considered it good luck to be married in the month of the Goddess of Love. Actually, only the brides felt that way. The grooms didn’t give a rat’s posterior. Over the years, the tradition made its way into the Twenty-first Century. Those Romans.

Kay and I bucked all odds and got married in November, the month named after the Roman God of Wine Casks, Noviembarrel. I had a few days off around Thanksgiving, so we said, oh, what the hey? A practical couple, the Hayters. One of us, anyway.

While I could go on and on about the weddings, I think it much more helpful for me to pass along a few helpful pointers for those who get married. Kay and I have been married for 41 years, and let me tell you I have changed absolutely nothing about that girl from the time I met her.

I take that back. She is just now able to bring home something from the grocery store that wasn’t on the list. In the past there were no surprises. “Bread, milk and ketchup? That’s it? Those are only necessities!” -- No candy, nuts or ice cream?

Last month she surprised me with a half gallon of Blue Bell Moolenium Crunch. I had to lean on the cabinet for support. I had changed something about her. And, for the better!

Kay has managed to change me a bunch. She has molded me into the personification of the ideal husband… uh, in everything but appearance. Won’t even tell me when I’m walking around with my pants unzipped.

Fortunately, she does let me handle the remote, which is only fair, ‘cause it takes her 90 seconds to bring up “closed captioning.” That’s her record – 90 seconds.

Other than that one peculiarity, I’ve learned to tolerate the odd stuff about Kay. You absolutely have to. It’s hard at first, but after a while you just give in. I think it’s because of love. Ol’ Horatia Flu— uh, Ol’ Juno.

Speaking of which, how long does it take you to brush your teeth? Thirty seconds? A minute? Kay can take up to 15 minutes. Of course, she’s not brushing that whole time. She’s walking around the house, folding clothes or working on a grocery list with her toothbrush in her mouth. Something about a toothbrush in her mouth makes her want to wander.

A couple of weeks ago, she interrupted my paper reading by saying, “We need some Stargerlister.” – I said, “How many?”  -- She took the toothbrush out of her mouth and said, “Dishwashing liquid.”

Something like that might irritate some spouses, but I think it’s cute as all get out. Just last weekend, I mentioned the time we went to the Giant Kroger in Willis. Kay said, “Oh yeah. That’s where we got our sopapillas.”

I said, “Sweatpea, I don’t think we’ve ever purchased sopapillas outside a Mexican Restaurant.” – She said, “I agree. But, I said sofa pillows. That’s where we bought our sofa pillows. At Kroger!”

First of all, I’m not only shocked that the giant Kroger sold sofa pillows, I’m also shocked that Kay would remember that’s where got ours. The girl is phenomenal.

We were watching the old British series, “As Time Goes By” with Judi Dench last night. Kay up and says, “Do you remember where we were when we saw our first episode of this? We were on Sanibel Island in that condo.” – That was from a trip we took 11 years ago. And she remembers what we watched on TV.

That girl is absolutely fascinating. And, that’s the stuff of a long marriage. There is nothing about her character I want to change. And, there are absolutely none in mine that she needs to change, ‘cause she’s pretty well molded me into the perfect husband. See? – Next time.
To view Mark in some short inspirational videos, go to

And, that's pretty much the wedding pictures.


  1. Loved the article and love the pictures!

  2. So glad you pointed out Kay in the picture! Had me laughing out loud. Ain't love grand when it's shared by two special people who figured it out! Ya know ya have something when we can laugh about the hair that seems to have decided to grow in places that it wasn't supposed to and stopped growing in the places it was, that those extra pounds don't seem to matter as much anymore, that things that sag, turn different colors, & wrinkle are things to compare & laugh about, that completing each other's sentences come naturally and are considered helpful, that it's not about competition (all the time), and a great surprise can be as simple as showing up home with an extra DQ Buster Bar.