May
12, 2019
“Supervisor of left wing exit-door”
GRANDVIEW,
WA – This is what Pooh Bear would call a blustery morning. The wind is brisk
and out of the west. The tall grass is blowing in every direction. Can’t make
up its mind. There’s a baby goat jumping around in the field over yonder just
like it had good sense. Kay has named the goat Jumper.” The Snoqualmie Tribe of
Washington State would call Kay “Nongee” -- “Namer of New Goats.” -- I’m
sticking with “Sweetpea.”
I’m so glad we got to revisit our family and friends in
Washington State. We jumped at the invitation. I think Curt’s words were, “Kay,
you’re always welcome here.” I took that as an invite, so here we are. By the
way, Curt is my niece Rhonda’s husband. Rhonda is the niece who will actually
put up with her Uncle Notha! The Snoqualmie name has to be shouted. It translates
– “Not Him again!”
I would like to say that the flight up here was
uneventful, but it had its moments. One of the good moments was when the flight
attendant selected me to be in control of the emergency door at the left wing
of the plane. I assume she noticed my demeanor of trust and reliability. Either
that or she noticed that I was the one seated next to the emergency door by the
left wing of the plane.
I
don’t mean to run down the airline, but I don’t think they considered the
gravity of the job of emergency door opener. They acted as if any yokel could
handle it. I picked up on that when I noticed the guy sitting in the seat next
to the emergency door on the right. What a loser.
The
scary thing was that I wasn’t given much direction. I was told to look at the
illustration on the back of the seat in front of me to see out how to open the
door. The attendant showed me a couple of pamphlets I could read if I wanted.
He said there was a video I could watch if I thought it necessary. I told him I
was cool with the mission. I did suggest he hand the pamphlets to the guy
manning the other door. He just didn’t look up to the task, you ask me.
Before
he left, I whispered to him, “By the way, when do I open this thing?” He told
me not to open the door. He looked over at Kay and said, “Ma’am, don’t let him
open the door. In fact, change places with him, would you?” I told the attendant
that I was just joking. He said he was too.
Though I was tempted, I never saw the need to
open the door. I’m hoping to get to be the emergency door opener again on the flight
home. The best thing about the job is that you get an extra six inches of legroom
at the emergency door. Of course, we had to pay for those six inches, but the
exorbitant rate was worth it.
My
nephew CJ greeted us at the baggage pickup area upon our arrival at SeaTac at
12:40 in the a.m. -- What a great nephew. – I let Kay steer one of the wheeled
suitcases, while CJ took charge of the other one. I accepted the task of
manually carrying the two take-on bags. I put one of the straps around my neck
and carried the other bag in my arms as if I were hauling an overweight child.
Long
story short, Kay fell down the up-escalator. I was as surprised as you.
Unbeknownst to us, it requires a bit of careful planning to balance a large piece
of wheeled -luggage on a moving step that is headed upward. We were five steps
up when Kay’s suitcase slipped off its step, causing her to take a tumble. Although
I’m agile as a puma, I also fell. Ended up on top of Kay’s suitcase which was
resting on top of her. And get this – we were sliding down the up-escalator. I
thought it impossible.
CJ
saved our lives by yelling for someone to push the emergency button at the
escalator’s entrance. Had my nephew not reacted so fast, we would’ve ended up
in a pile at the bottom where the steps magically appear. Kay’s hair might’ve gotten caught in the gears
and pulled from her head. Heaven knows what would’ve happened to me. Seriously,
I have no idea what would’ve happened to me.
Fortunately,
we didn’t have to find out because CJ saved the day. I couldn’t help thinking
that everybody blamed me for not strapping the two carry-on bags to the
suitcase and wheeling the thing myself. Then I would’ve been the person at the
bottom of the escalator with my nose caught in the gears. Six of one…
The
good news is, Kay only ended up with some scrapes and bruises. It in no way
impeded our drive eastward across the mountains to the town of Grandview. At the moment, Kay is in bed, and I’m sitting
out back where I’m being blown by the wind racing across the hills on its
journey west. This is the ranch where Rhonda and Curt live with their family of
three sons, two daughter’s in law, six grandkids, and five goats… one of which,
Kay named Jumper.
And
today? Today, the real fun begins. I’ll tell you about it next time.
end
Contact Mark at hayter.mark@gmail.com
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