Shingles and water aerobics

August 18, 2019

“Finding Good in the Misfortune of Brad”

Brad: Before Shingles

 Have you ever had a strange skin disorder called shingles? Would you like to get one? Well, before you say yes, you need to talk to someone who has had shingles. I suggest Brad Meyer. I’ve seen the pictures of Brad’s shingles. They almost made me gag. I mean weep. Weep and gag.

Kay has also had shingles. She once got a spot on the side of her face. It bothered her a lot. I cautioned her not to scratch the rash or it’d go straight to her toes. Occasionally, one of those toes will claw my leg at night. Do you see where I’m going with this?

After Kay’s shingle episode, I got a shingle shot. A little while after that I went to my doctor, and he asked if I had gotten my shingle shot. When I told him I had, he said, “The new one?” -- Do you ever get the feeling that doctors laugh their buns off when you leave the room? “Did you get the new shingle’s shot?” 

After all, that, I told the doctor to go ahead and give me the NEW shingle shot, but he informed that I could only get one at the pharmacy? A shot you can only get at the pharmacy. If you scratch this thing, you’re going to uncover some nefarious goings on. I don’t think doctors are directly involved in the scheme. To be honest, I don’t think doctors have ever been to a pharmacy.

 I can go to the pharmacy at 2:30 in the pm and there will be a line. Can you imagine standing in that line for two days and having the pharmacy person say, “The new shingle shot? Let me get you in the computer, so you can go around the corner and wait in the shingle shot line. I’d rather get the shingles.

Brad’s shingles worked out pretty good for me. Three of you may remember that Brad and I play racquetball together. Due to my quick study, I’ve become almost as good as he is. Unfortunately, we haven’t been able to get on the court for several weeks, because Brad got the shingles. Remember? – By the way, don’t tell Brad that I mentioned that he got the shingles, or he’ll kill me. He will find me, and he will kill me. By the way, should I die a mysterious death in the next month or two, tell the police to interrogate Brad. Oh, and also Kay. 

The one good thing about Bradley’s ailment is the fact that it gave me the opportunity to take up water aerobics. When Brad and I played racquetball at the Y, the girls would be in the pool doing water aerobics with a bunch of old ladies. Oh, don’t repeat that to any old lady. Besides, there are usually three old men right in the midst of them. Because of Brad, I became the fourth.

Teena Sandberg is our water aerobics instructor. She is the best. She stands outside the pool and leads us in weird exercises while playing rock ‘n roll music. She likes Tom Petty! Speaking of free falling, if I were to try any of the exercise while outside the pool, I’d trip and crack my tailbone a nano-second before cracking my skull. If you’re afraid of the water, you may want to go just to watch and listen to Teena. That woman is a hoot.

 

Water aerobics happens every weekday morning at 9:00. I’m fairly sure that all ages are welcome, but it’s mostly the retired among us who are free most mornings. I believe Tuesdays and Thursdays are Teena’s days, however I’m sure the other instructors are equally talented. I doubt they have as winning personality, but who does?

Teena before the music starts

 Besides water aerobics, Kay and I are also experimenting with Tai Chi. Kay’s doing it to lower stress and improve her balance. I’m doing it for the martial arts training. I’m sick and tired of people parking their grocery carts in the middle of the aisles. In truth, we’re both doing it because it’s a gentle and calming exercise that is good for both body and mind. What I like is the fact that everything you do is in slow motion. The Chinese guy who came up with this is my hero. He’s actually got me believing that “slow is good.”

Even though Tai Chi is refreshing as all get out, I still have trouble maintaining any kind of exercise program. Any person who dreads a five-minute, slow motion, mental and physical exercise has some serious mental problems. It’s the thought of “having to do something” that messes me up. I’ve been known to do things spontaneously, but give me time to think or ponder any action that requires me to move, I’ll balk. 

Virginia might call and say, “Hey, do you and Kay want to go out and eat?” I’ll jump at the chance. Then she’s liable to say, “Okay, let’s make it Thursday at 6:00.” What? That can pretty much destroy an entire week for me. I immediately start thinking about “having” to do something on Thursday. I don’t care what it is, stuff written on my calendar stresses me out.

 I think I may bring that up with my doctor. He probably knows of a shot that will take care of it. Perhaps he would recommend a lobotomy. Like Tai Chi, a lobotomy is supposed to relieve all angst. I’m not sure that has been verified, because people who have undergone the process seem to be unable to clearly express their feelings

.

If I end up having one of those things, I’ll let you know. I’m fairly sure the operation will do nothing to damage my writing capabilities. – That shout of “Amen!” was just rude. 

                                                            end

You can contact Hayter at hayter.mark@gmail.com