Hayter for Dec 25, 2022
"How 'bout that Christmas?"
So, how is Christmas going for you? Are you one of those open-gifts-the-night-before people? The Hayters have always been “morning-of” people. Just the way we were raised.
I don’t know which Hayter started it. The
furthest Kay has gone back to is John Hayter, born in 1655, in a place called,
Winterborne Earls located in Wiltshire, England. I don’t know if Santa Clause
was even alive in 1655. I don’t mean to burst anybody’s balloon, but I have
trouble believing there is a Santa.
If there is one, I doubt he came from England. Those people wouldn’t tolerate an old man with flying reindeer landing a sleigh on their houses. A lot of their roofs were made of straw back then! I’m not joking! I’ve seen the movies.
By the way, there is a John Hayter who lives in Conroe. A nice guy, too. I’ve run into him twice. Both times, it was my fault. (Ta dum dum) I don’t know if the Conroe John Hayter has Scottish blood in him, but according to my DNA, I’m 46 percent, Scot. My middle name is even Scott. I was named after Mom’s oldest brother. He was Cleodis Scott Teegarden. He went by the name “Bud”. I’m sure glad I dodged the “Cleodis” name.
I have difficulty believing I’ve got
Scottish blood in me. Those people eat haggis. That’s a dish made from what’s
left of a sheep after it’s been butchered. You know, stomach, lungs, heart,
liver, tongue… The good stuff.
Scots chop all of the internal organs up,
add some spices, fat, and oats, shove it into the sheep’s stomach, and tie the
thing off? -- Beg pardon? Well, I assume they used oats because they didn’t
have any celery. After that they bake or boil the daylights out of it. When
they cut that buddy open the contents are referred to as “pudding.” My 54
percent of non-Scotish blood has a different view of pudding. I think I may need another DNA test.
Before we get past the recipe portion of the article, let me say that everything I wrote about haggis is, to my knowledge, true. The part about me not wanting to have any Scottish ancestry was pure fabrication. I’m quite proud to be a part of the Hayter Clan.
About eight of you are wondering why I put
all of that stuff into my Christmas article. Well, it’s because, right now, I’m
sitting smack dab into the Thursday before Christmas. The freezing weather
hasn’t yet happened where I am. I don’t know a thing about the big freeze. Was
it called off or was it so bad that your Christmas feed at Grandma’s was called
off?
I’ve never written an article the day
before, or the day of Christmas. That’s cause I don’t write news articles. I
write what’s called General Interest. The news articles are as current as can
be. My articles, not so much. I’m not saying that there’s no important stuff in
my column. It’s always loaded with important stuff. That’s one reason I write
dangerously close to my deadline.
Even at that, I’m right now in the dark about
Christmas. For all I know, Santa could’ve called the whole thing off due to the
weather. But you? You already know
what’s happened with Christmas. You know if your water pipes busted.
Mine sure could. Kay helped a bunch with wrapping
the pipes. She’s a great wrapper. Of pipes. She can’t rap on stage worth beans.
But forget about us. It’s you, I’m concerned about! Did you end up with frozen
pipes, icy roads, and goats in your house? Well, some of you might have outdoor
animals inside. That’s one reason I don’t raise goats.
I do hope that at this Christmas moment, all is fine where you are. By all accounts, we didn’t get any snow. I’ve made no mystery about the fact I love snow. I’ve seen it, uh, maybe five times.
The only snow problem I ever had was with
my feet. That’s back when all I had were a pair of tennis shoes and church
shoes. The thing about my church shoes is they never got as much wear as my
tennis shoes. If my feet hadn’t grown I could probably wear the same pair when
I started high school.
Church shoes were only worn Sunday mornings. Sunday and Wednesday night worship weren’t as sacred enough to merit nice shoes. I don’t know what I’ll wear on Christmas Sunday. If the cold lingers longer than expected, they may call it off. Did it happen to you? Sure wish you could communicate with those of us living on Thursday. There are a bunch of us. You were even there. – I’m beginning to confuse myself, so let me stop that nonsense right now.
I don’t know what I’m getting for Christmas. Kay already bought both our gifts. I just kept putting it off and putting it off, until she came home from shopping and told me not to worry about getting her anything. She said we were both taken care of. I don’t know what either of us got, but I’m sure she will like what she got.
Me? If it’s a toy or a bag of Chocolate Peppermint Almonds, I’ll like it. Kay got me a bag of CPAs at Sam’s. I’m not a big fan of peppermint, but when sprinkled on an almond and covered with chocolate… well, it makes life that much better. – Okay, my next stop is – 2023. The question is, will I still be awake at midnight? No, I don’t give a hoot, either.
end
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