A review of Thanksgiving

 

Hayter for December 1, 2024

A Review of Thanksgiving

          Thanksgiving was a soothingly quiet time for Kay and me. A couple of decades ago, I might have referred to it as a sadly quiet Thanksgiving. After Mom and Dad passed away the family seldom gathers anymore.  In fact, Jill was the only family member I invited to our house for Thanksgiving. I could’ve invited everyone, but I was afraid all of them might show.  

          Now we see one another rarely. Some of the grand and great-grandkids never saw their grandma or grandpa. Some of the grandkids don’t even know that I’m related to them. The only grandkid I know who ever called me Uncle Mark was Big Al’s son, Clint Ross. Dennis and I called him Clint Rock, because “Ross” doesn’t pack much of wallop. Well, we now realize that the 46-year-old Clint wants us to lose the “Rock”. What’s the matter with kids today?

Since Jill was our only guest for Thanksgiving, the day before we went to Vernon’s Catfish for lunch. You can’t do that with 20+ people, and enjoy yourself. The patrons at Venon’s were enjoying themselves so much that I couldn’t even hear my own voice. There were too many large families eating out. And, I’ve gotta tell you, in each large family there is at least one person who talks much louder than is necessary. You know who you are, and you really need to tone it down.

          Most places were really crowded the week before Thanksgiving. I discovered that on Monday when every grocery store was packed. And Sam’s! Don’t get me started. But, get this, everyone I encountered in the different stores was as nice as can be. I don’t know what’s gotten into people.

          It was great with Jill here. We had a lot of time to commiserate. At one point we talked about the times we visited Grandma and Grandpa in Bristow, Oklahoma. I know I’ve criticized my life and times in Oklahoma, but that’s only because the family atmosphere wasn’t normal. Everyone I’ve ever known in Oklahoma seems so serious. Even when clowning around.

It took me several summer visits to Grandma and Grandpa’s house to learn that Cousin Dale was not to be believed. I’ve mentioned the time that he told me that while on the set of “Ben Hur” he was the trainer of Charleton Heston’s four Arabian horses.

Dale always looked so straight forward, that it was impossible to tell if he was joking. The man would lie a blue streak. In one of my articles a decade or so ago, I mentioned this particular episode. I ended up telling my entire classmates at Pomeroy Elementary, that my cousin trained Ben Hur’s horses. And one time one of the horses wouldn’t do as told, so my Cousin Dale, hit it over the head with a Coke bottle, thus knocking the steed out. It was obvious that my teacher didn’t believe me. And, my classmates didn’t care one way or the other. So I made a great impression on the first day of school. 

That’s the kind of stuff that went on at Grandma’s porch. The adults were having grownup conversations, apparently paying no attention to the few older cousins who were feeding the Hayter kids a load of hoo-hah.  

          After Jill and I ranted about the lousy sense of humor of our relatives, we next mentioned Aunt Edna. A sweeter aunt, you would never find. Jill told me about her having to sleep in the same bed with Aunt Edna when we were at Grandma’s house. She mentioned how kind Edna was when she got scared about the strange hallway between the two bedrooms. Jill was afraid that some creature was lurking behind one of the drapes leading from one room to the next. Edna told Jill to change sides of the bed with her. Then she walked over to make sure the drapes were closed, and then she set a chair in front of the drapes. That calmed Jill down and she was able to go to sleep.   

          I then told my story about when Dad made me sing “Big John” in front of the entire family while everyone was gathered around the porch. Dad said, “You sang that song all the way from Pasadena to Bristow, so you can sing it now!” I sang the fastest “Big John” that anyone ever heard, and then I ran into the house and into one of the bedrooms and cried. I was probably eight.

          Anyway, I was hiding out for only a couple of minutes when Aunt Edna came into the room, sat on the bed next to me, and spoke to me as if I were an adult. She bragged about how well I knew all of the words to the song, and how brave I was to sing it in front of everyone. Then she gave me a 50-cent piece, the one with Ben Franklin on it, and told me it was for singing the song, and that she really loved hearing it.

Edna was the only adult who acted as if she remembered what it was like to be a kid. That was 64 years ago, and I still remember the moment well. It’s weird how the last of the childhood stories that Jill and I shared were sad ones. And this was around Thanksgiving!

We’re both so much better now. Plus we have Christmas to look forward to. This year we’re having it at Jill’s house. The girl handles gatherings so much better than I do. And, I can leave anytime I want. Of course, none of us could beat Larry, the eldest brother, out the door. Hey, I’m sure each member of your extended family also has a quirk or two.

I’m the family member with more quirks than anyone else. If you don’t believe me, just ask them.  

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