Facinating Facts

 

Hayter for December 3, 2023

"All but one, fascinating fact!"

          I heard a gentleman say recently that a college degree will soon become non-essential due to the amount of information available online, and the many advances being made by AI. Perhaps teachers will soon become obsolete.

Without question, much of what I learned in college prepared me for my job as a teacher. That’s because I had to take courses in science, math, geography, literature, handball, gymnastics, bowling… that added to way more hours than my studies in history and political science.

At the time, I was not pleased with having to take that many courses in subjects that didn’t apply to my major. However, after a couple of years, I noticed how much my “unrelated” courses aided me in acquiring a better understanding of how math, science, geography, English literature and other topics applied to any subject where people were involved. Bowling and gymnastics? Not so much.

          Even though I no longer teach, I’m constantly discovering so much important stuff online. In fact, before Kay’s relatives visited last week, I looked up some interesting facts to share for times the conversation died. – If you happened on to last week’s article, you’ll realize that there was no conversational death witnessed during the gathering.

          So, that’s the reason I’m going to share with you some facts that Kay’s family never shut up long enough to hear.

          I discovered that April 11, 1954 was the most boring day in the 20^th Century. I guessed August 3, 1923, because it was the day Calvin Coolidge was inaugurated. I missed it by 30 years and a few months.

          I read about the most boring day topic because something popped up on my computer screen that said I should. I would have never known about Belgium’s general election on April 11, 1954 or about Turkish scientist Abdullah Atalar being born on that day. Now that learned that information, I am as depressed as can be. I don’t mean to dis  Belgians or Mr. Atalar, but let’s face it, no day could be more boring than that!

          The real interest behind such research has to do with the method used in finding the most boring day. I’m here to tell you that computer scientist William Tunstall-Pedoe, developed a supercomputer search engine that came up with 300,000,000 facts concerning the most important things that happened in all countries from 1901 to 2000. Included with the program was a method of rating the importance of each happening. On April 11, 1954, Belgium and Turkey were complete losers.

          I mentioned at the beginning that I jotted down that useless information to share with Kay’s family. Unfortunately, I couldn’t read my scribblings. All I could remember was 300 million” and “boring day”, so I keyed four words into Google, and in a nanosecond up popped, “What happened on April 11, 1954?”

            To get that info, I suppose my computer sent radio waves to a tower that bounced it off another tower that then sent it to a satellite that shot down to the main headquarters. After some quick research, the info followed its path in reverse back to my computer.

          Keep in mind that the towers and satellites involved in all of this were constantly being bombarded with billions of other fact-finding missions. I do not know much at all, but one thing I know for sure is that I am going to die not knowing how all of that happened.  

The other weird facts that I gathered were in no way as technical as the one I just shared.  For example, did you know that John Smith was 28 years old when he first met Pocahontas, who at that time was 12? Did you know that Pocahontas means “Little Mischief”? To determine that, someone had to discover the Powhattan language as it was spoken in 1595. Absolutely amazing.

          Speaking of light bulbs, the first one was developed in 1840 by Warren del Rue, a British astronomer. Warren never got a patent on his invention, but in 1880 Thomas Edison got one for his light bulbs thus giving him credit for the invention. Hopefully, Warren wasn’t alive to know that.

          The story of George Washington having wooden teeth was not true. At his inauguration in 1789, he only had one tooth left in his head. Eventually, a so-called dentist made him a set of teeth that were set in lead, with uppers and lowers connected by two springs. Turns out, lead is a poor substitute for gums.

George gathered up teeth from a couple of his slaves, one of his cows, a horse, and some small pieces of bones. After some serious carving and welding, the dentist pushed the contraption into the President’s mouth and said, something like, “So, what do you think?” We don’t know his answer, but it can be readily interpreted by the fact that there is no portrait of Washington smiling. That story depressed the daylights out of me. 

          A small photo of Jason Mamoa popped up on my screen with the words “Many mourn Jason Mamoa—". Since Jill never called to tell me he died, I decided to click on the photo and the true story. What I found was the headline, “Many women mourn the fact that Jason Mamoa shaved his beard”. One can imagine my horror.

          Okay, that’s enough of this. I just wanted to share with you how many interesting things I didn’t share with relatives, nor did I find any of it in our family’s set of Compton's Encyclopedias. – Speaking of which, do any of you remember the Disney character who taught me how to spell Encyclopedia? You younger ones may need to use your cell phones for this one.

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hayter.mark@gmail.com

 

Kay's Cousins

 

Hayter for November 19, 2023

“A Full House”

        So how was Thanksgiving? – Okay. Okay, I see. Right, it’s always a wonderful occasion for all involved.  – Right now, I’d like to direct a question only to those who hosted a Thanksgiving gathering. How’d that go for you? – Forget it, let me tell you what I went through.

        Since Mom passed away, Kay and I have hosted so many family gatherings that it’s scary. Mom hosted the big events. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter. Jill and I took care of the vast majority of all non-holiday get-togethers. The others would have but would rather not. Each had relatively good excuses not to host a mass of Hayters.

        Elsie passed away in 2006. Before her passing, she lived in a small apartment. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to feed and entertain 20+ people in a small apartment? No one does. So, someone had to play Mom’s role. Who could do that? Who would do that?

        Each sibling gave it a shot. We lost three prospective hosts after that experiment. Big Al hung on for as long as he could but developed a case of curbed enthusiasm. It can sure happen. Jill and I are the ones who host most of the family’s few events.

        Over the past two years, we’ve both been a bit delinquent with inviting the clan over. It’s like a lot of work. It’s all great fun when we visit as a group, but prep time is almost as much trouble as clean-up. Jill hosted a Halloween gathering. Had she asked us to wear costumes, I would’ve used a headache as my excuse and missed it.

        The family had no Thanksgiving gathering this year. If they did I was not invited.  It doesn’t matter because we hosted Kay’s brother Mike and his wife Karen; her nephew and his family, then there were a bunch of cousins. Everyone was just as nice as they could be. One of the drawbacks to the event had to do with the venue. Our house doesn’t comfortably accommodate more than six guests. We had 22.

        The bad news was that it was too wet to go outside, so we all crowded together in the house. The good news was that Kay’s brother, and his wife were the only ones who stayed overnight. Two nights, actually. Have I ever mentioned how sweet Kay is?

        I was a different man while around Kay’s family. I barely fit into the Hayter Clan, but I have nothing in common with the Richards Clan. I didn’t even know what they were talking about most of the time. Way over my head. While I didn’t have much to say, it didn’t bother me any. Like my family, no one asks me anything. I seldom get asked a question. With Kay’s family, I never got asked a question. It was wonderful.

        And, I’ve got to tell you that I learned a lot about satellites, medications, diseases, AI, libraries, and weird foods. By the way, I’m a little less worried about AI. Cousin Keith told me that while five billionaires can control satellites and spy networks, and stuff that I’ve only noticed in Science Fictions movies, I have nothing to fear. Keith told me that the U.S. is far superior in any technologies produced by corporations or foreign powers. That was calming. At least it was up until I remembered the upcoming presidential election. A sane President would be essential, one would think.

By the way, I learned a lot from Keith and from Kay’s nephew Steven. That boy is as smart as the proverbial whip. Not quite as smart as his dad Mike, but then no one is.  Those people behave so much differently at get-togethers than the Hayters. I’m not saying that my family is better than Kay’s, but I can see where you might get that idea.

During the Hayter gatherings, the adults would generally hang out in the kitchen and dining room area. The kids preferred going nuts outdoors. When it rained, they preferred the outdoors even more. They were, apparently, so well-behaved because no one ever got killed or turned up missing.

As mentioned, Kay’s family did not make it outside during their visit due to the light rain. And what’s crazy is, they didn’t even care to. My nieces and nephews would’ve been out there doing abnormal things. Kay’s family’s kiddos stayed indoors and occupied their time with devices that had batteries in them. That was not even an option during the Wayback period.

Kay’s kinfolks have a different way of sharing stories. Eight of them sat at the dining room table with all of them talking at once. They must’ve been able to hear what the others were saying because they laughed at the same time. Some of the family stood in the living room, others in the kitchen. They had to speak loudly because the group at the table drowned out all other noises.

All in all, I felt pleased with the event. It’s gratifying to see a group of relatives remembering the way they were. They seemed to have a blast. They were grateful for Kay hosting the reunion-like event. They bragged about the food we prepared and how lovely the house was. I think the house part was somewhat of an exaggeration.

I was pleased that no one mentioned the times that I stood alone in the corner of the room and observed. It was so loud that I couldn’t hear what was being said by anyone. I must’ve missed out on a lot of jokes because there was so much laughter.

It turned out to be the most pleasant family gathering to ever be held in this house. There have been a couple of Hayter gatherings here, but no one was as excited to see one another as Kay’s family was. That was no mystery to me. None of us have been as close to one another as when Mom was with us.

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hayter.mark@gmail.com

Short-handled Broom

 

Hayter for November 19, 2023

Paradox of the Short-handled Broom

This morning I looked up the word “happy” just to determine if I was. Turns out the happy definition is an assortment of synonyms; words like content, cheerful, pleased, gleeful… All in all, some really cheesy words.  

One word not associated with “happy” is “merry”. That’s because “merry” is the joy reserved for Christmas. If you ever feel “happy” during Christmas, it means you’re doing it all wrong.

At the moment I feel content, pleased, and blessed. “Gleeful” would be pressing it. For me, the problem with happiness is the guilt that I associate with it. The cause of my guilt has to do with reading newspapers, watching the news, and noticing things going on. 

Yesterday, I was reading about some of the problems in third-world nations. The descriptions I read made me wonder if there are any fourth-world countries. Feeling a need to depress myself more than I already was, I looked it up. There is. The powers that be came up with categories for grouping nations based on their financial stability and mode of living. Those two characteristics tend to bind.  

The ranking of nations into one of the four categories was decided by a group of countries that were democratic, capitalistic, and economically stable. Each of the nations was classified as First World. All communist nations were considered Second World. They were overjoyed.

The difference between the Third World and Fourth World is about a dime’s worth. At last count, there were 47 Fourth World Nations, including Cambodia, Afghanistan, Ethiopia, Yemen, and 43 others.

I did so much research on Third and Fourth World Nations that I turned somber, sour, and sad. I began thinking of Luke Redus, President of Compassion United in Conroe. What a great work that man has done and continues to do! Go online, and see what all he is accomplishing with the help and donations of others. In fact, there are dozens of helpful organizations in the County organized by people who actually DO, instead of merely staying depressed.

But, do you wanna know what’s weird about the needs of human beings? It is the “need” in certain areas of life that brings about improvements. I got that from Oscar Wilde. I ran across one of his quotes shortly after my previous research. Wilde wrote, “‘Discontent’ is the first step in the progress of a man or a nation.”

In other words, all of the inventions that have come up in my lifetime were due to someone attempting to come up with stuff to make life easier. I don’t know what type of writing utensil you used when you were in the first grade, but it had to be better than what I had to use. We used a fat wooden black pencil with thick graphite and absolutely no eraser on the end. Do you know why there was no eraser? I don’t either! Perhaps back in 1906, a first grader choked to death on a pencil eraser.

Without an eraser, the only thing you can do is erase with spit. Today? I don’t know what first graders write with. It’s probably a keyboard.

The first automobiles built at the turn of the century were great. Fortunately, no one came out and announced, “Okay, Ford’s Model T is the best vehicle around, so there’s no need to improve on what we’ve got now. So, now let’s invent some airplanes. No! Some people were willing to improve on what Ford built. They came up with better vehicles, causing Henry Ford to improve on his model. Right now there are too many auto models to keep up with, each of which comes with weird gadgets.

You likely remember the story that brought attention to the Asian broom. For centuries many people in Asia and Africa were sweeping houses, porches, and yards using straw attached to short wooden sticks. The only way to sweep with a short-handled broom is to get on your knees or bend at the waist. Since women did most of the sweeping, they were the ones who ended up with a permanent stoop. The method is still used in some Third and Fourth World nations. The concept of “discontent” bringing about progress is not accepted in all societies.

First World Nations? We now have a self-propelled vacuum that steers itself. 

The advent of the typewriter was a major accomplishment for printers, book publishers, newspaper editors, teachers, students… When I was attending SFA, I had to type all of my reports and projects on a manual typewriter. My papers were covered in liquid paper… which was incidentally invented by the mother of Michael Nesmith, one of the members of the Monkees.

When I attended Sam Houston University for my Master’s degree, I was assigned umpteen research papers each semester. My darling wife typed each one of them on an IBM Selectric. She borrowed it from prison; the Walls Unit in Huntsville, TX. Actually, her boss let her take it home after work.

If he hadn’t, Kay would’ve probably stayed in prison day and night until I graduated. You have no idea what all I owe my lovely wife! She even edits my articles. At least she did up until now.

Most of the time-saving devices will become obsolete very shortly. Artificial Intelligence is a work in progress. In the not-too-distant future, many projects will be carried out by machines with minds of their own. Some are already smarter, and all are definitely faster than what we’ve been using.

Without question, AI will figure out things faster and work harder and cheaper than today’s workforce, thus, creating an unemployment rate that will shoot up faster than a cheetah on speed. I sense that the only way we will be able to afford products made through AI is to bring back the short-handled broom. – Between now and next week, I’ll look for some better news.  

 

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