Saturday, July 16, 2011

Hey, there's less to us than you think.

“Disappearing monster”

    I no longer believe in Spiderman, but I do believe in spidey sense. When I see in the comics that Peter Parker’s “spidey sense” is tingling, I realize that it’s a true phenomenon.

    I know ‘cause I witnessed spider sense just before you showed up. I was staring out the window here in the study, waiting to see if rain was going to come from the overcast sky. While focusing on the sky, I noticed a giant spider walk into view and just stand there. A big spider… about the size of a cat’s paw. 

    The creature was on the screen outside the window, apparently looking for something to do. The thing started walking back and forth for about 10 minutes. Then it stayed in place and started alternately raising its legs off the screen like it was pretend-playing a round piano.

At that point, I noticed that the monster arachnid was actually inside the window screen. I noticed it ‘cause its legs began bumping against the glass. I didn’t mind the spider so much when I thought it was outside. Figured it might catch a bat or something at night. But, realizing it was practically inside my house, changed my whole attitude. I didn’t scream out loud, but inside my head I let out a real sissy-scream. That’s when I ran downstairs for some roach spray.

I’m not sure spiders fear roach spray, but it’s all I had. Turns out I didn’t even have it. I could only find a can of ant spray I bought when LBJ was President. Ants name for “ant spray” is “candy.” I don’t know what spiders call it, but I was going to find out. 

So, I grabbed the spray and ran back to the study. When I arrived, the spider was gone. Hiding somewhere in the window’s periphery. Deep in one of those periphery things. To find out where it was, I’d hafta open the window. Did I mention the thing was big? Big as a Frisbee.

I have no doubt that the demon arachnid heard my mental girl-scream and realized that I was coming back with some kick-posterior bug spray. There is no other explanation. None that goes along with what I’m trying to say here… which is that spiders are very astute. Just like horses. – Stay with me here.

Last week Kay and I went to the Market Street theatre in The Woodlands to see “Buck,” the documentary about Buck Brannaman, the man that Robert Redford’s “Horse Whisperer” movie was loosely based on. I don’t like to see a movie about real life. I go to the movies to get away from real life…. and eat popcorn. I only went this time ‘cause Kay asked me. I suppose if she asked me to jump off a cliff I’d do it… but only if there was popcorn at the bottom. 

As it turned out, the movie was the best I’ve seen in a good while. The popcorn was great, too.

The reason the movie reminded me of “spidey sense” has to do with something Brannanman said about horses. He said that horses sense when you’re scared, angry, happy or just out of sorts. And, they react accordingly. Not sure exactly what that means for a horse, but for me, I just shut down around somebody who is outta sorts.

Watching “Buck” I learned a lot about horses and people. Buck said that if you ever have trouble with your horse, it’s generally your fault. The person riding the horse is the one with the problem. Buck trains people more than he trains horses. I think Caesar Milan, the Dog Whisperer, does pretty much the same thing.

Bottom line, horses are somewhat like spiders. They can sense stuff about you that no one else can. Leading one to believe that animals and bugs are keener than humans. How else can you explain that after 40 years of marriage, Kay has yet to react to one of my mental sissy-screams. Yet, after only a few minutes of being in my proximity, a gigantic spider not only heard my silent scream, but knew what was coming next.

Spidey sense. I could use me some of that.


To view Brad and Mark’s review of Beck’s Prime click on pic.


  1. I haven't had the opportunity to be around many horses, but I firmly believe it about dogs! Cesar Millan is... well, you know how I feel about him!

  2. I wanna know if you killed the spider?? I would have killed if for you had I been there. Good article Mokus.

  3. Kay really has this thing about Cesar. I think she wants to be his assistant. Be his something.

    Oh, and Jill I saw the spider carcass today in the corner of the window. I sure hope it's a carcass. It hasn't moved much. Big ol' bubba.