Where to go?
Just a few minutes before you showed up Kay and I were sitting on the carport discussing stuff. I mostly discussed. Kay was reading her new copy of National Geographic. Mostly reading out-loud. She does that with magazines and newspapers.
I asked her to pick a vacation spot we might be able to visit. She said, “Killer whales are a part of the dolphin family. I think I knew that.” I’m not making this up. Then I had to crane my neck so I could see a whale photo she was trying to show me. I think it was a beluga. Kay’s partial to belugas. I have every confidence I will go to my grave not knowing why.
“Washington D.C.” That’s what she said. I said, “Yes?” She told me that was where she might want to visit. “Ah.” That’s what I said. I hate it when she answers a question after it’s been left in the dust.
I have wanted to see the Smithsonian since I first heard there was one. One? I actually think it’s a museum complex that includes something like 89 buildings. I don’t care to research that at the moment, so just take my word. – What? Sheeesh. Wait here while I check. – Nineteen different museums. I was close.
The only thing keeping me from visiting the Smithsonian and its 19 museums, comes from its location. I’m afraid of DC. I don’t worry about getting mugged or killed or anything. That’s a given. No, I don’t feel comfortable driving or parking or walking around that area. I just can’t help thinking I would end up some place I wasn’t supposed to be.
I realize that a guy climbed the fence around the White House and made it all the way down a hallway before he got stopped. But, I’m not that man. I can see me getting separated from Kay and ending up in a weird place where a couple of guards yell at me. “Hey, Abudullah! What are you doing in this restricted area? On your knees; hands on your head. Frank, hand me the taser.”
No, I’m not ready for D.C., and that’s what I told Kay. She said, “Do you know what this is?” She held up a picture of something that looked like a huge tobacco chaw. That was my guess, but I didn’t tell her, ‘cause I don’t like to be asked what something looks like. I never guess right. Kay picked up on that ‘cause she didn’t wait very long for an answer. She said, “It’s a rack of beef ribs found in King Tut’s tomb.” I told her that was my fifth guess.
While turning the page, Kay told me she would like to go the UK; mostly to Scotland and Ireland. I imagine she meant The Republic of Ireland. I think that’s where most of the castles and moors are. I’ve never seen a moor. Never dug up peat, either. Never even saw a castle. Nor do I care to any time soon. Which is a good thing, ‘cause we sure can’t afford such trip.
Dennis and Al took their wives to Europe a few years back. What I remember from their stories was about how hard it was to find public restrooms. When they were in Rome next to the Coliseum, they spent more time looking for a restroom than looking at the Coliseum. The one they eventually found had some serious sanitation and privacy issues. Either one of those issues is a deal breaker for me.
Americans may have a lot of flaws, but let me tell you, one look at the International Restroom Bar Graph will show that the US of A is at the very top. Europe can keep its castles and cathedrals. Better to have good restrooms.
Kay said she’d go to Hawaii before she’d go to Europe. I’ve told her a dozen times that I don’t care to visit our 50th State. (Not to be confused with our 52nd.) My image of Hawaii is much like the one I have for Disney World. A haven for tourists. And a place where getting there is merely a part of the cost for the trip. From what I hear, Hawaii is an expensive place.
Kay said that most of the tourists are in Oahu. We’d go to the largest island in the chain, Hawaii. I guess it has more Beluga’s.
Then Kay mentioned a place I hadn’t thought of. She suggested Michigan. Kay said that Michigan in the fall is lovely. I suppose she’s talked to someone. Do you know that the northern portion of Michigan, the peninsula that looks like Wisconsin’s nose, also has some lovely places. And the best thing -- Michigan is not Washington D.C. It’s not even Oklahoma.
I’m now prepared to start saving for a visit to Sault Ste Marie and points south. But just to make it interesting I asked Kay that between Michigan and an African Safari which would she pick? Kay said nothing for a few seconds, but eventually said, “Scientists are working on a heartier honey bee. One less prone to getting ill by pests of pathogens.”
I asked her what a pest would be for a bee? She said, “The Asian mite.” Then she held up her opened National G. An evil-looking creature, the Asian mite. So vile that I took it as a sign that I should go back inside.
As I got up to leave, Kay said, “While you’re inside you need to call a plumber.” I had no idea where that came from. She said, “There’s no way, I’m want to be on Safari knowing that our washing machine still has a leak.” – I hate it when she does that.