Hayter
article for May 17, 2020
“Late
Night at the Movies”
I’ve been staying up way too late
of late. When I was still teaching, I’d try to get in bed by 9:00, because I
had to get up before 5:00 to finish my reading and then get my buns out the
door. I don’t do that anymore. Now, I seldom leave the house before noon. And
when I do, I can wear anything I want, because Kay isn’t the boss of me.
Even if I were still teaching, I
wouldn’t leave the house of a morning because schools are closed. Did you know
that? I had to be told. It never happened while I was teaching! Back in my day,
it would’ve taken a Zombie Apocolypse to close schools. Speaking of which, I
taught a few zombies. Not all that articulate, but, for the most part, they
were good-natured.
Oddly enough, zombies are a big part
of our morning’s session. I watched a movie last night because I didn’t know it
was about zombies. The movie is called “The Girl with All the Gifts.” Do you
see a zombie in that title? I thought it was a Christmas story.
The
only actor whose name I recognized in the Gifted Girl movie was Glenn Close.
That woman can look so bad at times and then turn around and look
near-gorgeous. Like Meryl Streep, she has a very flexible face. It was halfway
through the viewing that I realized the movie was about a pandemic that would
make Covid19 seem like a mild headache. Most of the world had been turned into
cannibals who didn’t even bother to cook their food! They didn’t even like the
taste of one another. They would eat cats, dogs, and doves, but their specialty
was non-infected humans, and they had already depleted the supply
significantly.
The thing is the humans didn’t call
the infected people zombies, even though that had every characteristic of one.
They called ‘em “hungries.” A vicious lot, hungries. If we weren’t experiencing
this COVID pandemic, I would’ve had no sympathy for them whatsoever. But I now
realize that they’re just sick. Before they got sick, they wouldn’t even think
of eating raw people… much less a cat.
I don’t think I’m giving away much
by telling you that the ending was just terrible. Halfway through the movie,
you realize that this thing can’t end well. Then again, if you’re a zombie
sympathizer, you’re going to love the ending.
Kay didn’t care to watch the movie
with me. She has a problem watching zombies eat people. I didn’t know that when
I married her, but it probably wouldn’t have been a deal-breaker. The sad thing
is, I had just watched a movie about old people that had Jane Fonda and Robert
Redford in it. I don’t remember the name, but I’m guessing it’s “Old People
Need Old People”. Give me a second and I’ll see if I’m right. -- Warm-up your
coffee. -- I was close. The movie is called “Our Souls at Night.” I only agreed
to watch it with Kay because I thought it was a zombie movie.
I thought it a good story, but it
was really hard to watch. Jane Fonda managed to hide any hint of her role as
“Barbarella”. My friend Johnny Sutton and I saw that movie in Nacogdoches when
we were at SFA. We later saw John Wayne in “Big Jake” while in Nacogdoches.
John Wayne, while an imposing cowboy, just couldn’t compete with 41st
Century female astronaut. Barbarella would be rated PG-13 nowadays, but in ’69
it was out there.
Oh, and Robert Redford could not
have been mistaken for The Sundance Kid. He was wearing the same kind of
clothes I wear. It’s a look that draws the attention of children. -- “Mother, why
is that man wearing those socks?” -- “I don’t know, Delbert. Why don’t you ask
him?” -- I wonder if kids and their moms know how cruel they can be.
The “Our Souls” movie was thought-provoking.
With a better ending and two actors that looked good playing old people, like
Walter Brennan and Judi Dench I would’ve been a lot better. Oh, about the
ending? It was true to life, but if I want true-to-life, I’ll watch a
documentary.
As I mentioned, Kay left the room
after the Old People movie, while I watched the movie with the misleading
Christmas name. I still wasn’t sleepy after the pandemic movie, so I started
watching a detective movie out of Finland. It starred real Finnish people, too.
The movie was dubbed in English. That wasn’t a problem for me, because Finnish
people don’t open their mouths much when they speak. Go find a Finlander and see
if I’m not right. They pretty much have to mumble because their words are long
and they only use about two vowels. “U” and the sometimes vowel “Y”.
The Finnish series is called “Bordertown”
and I fear I’m hooked after only two episodes. It was two a.m. before I made it
to bed. That’s not a problem for me because schools are closed. Oh, and I’m
retired. I nearly forgot that. -- I joke.
end
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